My Haunted Past

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

LEAH’S POV

Looking out the window always seemed to relax me somehow.  Watching people live their lives, go somewhere, being busy.

I could see Jason sitting on the floor, why the hell did he have to come up with the, no sex until you talk, shit.  It was the only thing that kept me, felt alive.  I didn’t want to talk, yeah I know being quiet wasn’t really me but, my head kept going 100 miles an hour.   

My biggest fear was my father coming for me.  He would be so angry, what would he do to me.  All this kept going on in my head over and over.  Maybe we should move, to make sure.  I just didn’t know.  Maybe Jason was right, maybe he would have other ideas about what to do.

I love him, I couldn’t lose Jason.  He was the greatest guy that ever happened to me.  He loved me for me, accepted me for me and I would die before losing him.

I took a deep breath and still looking outside I started talking.  No sex, no making love, no touching him, I’d never last and I knew I was way over my head.

‘What date are we?’ I asked Jason.

‘Um…I think we’re the 21.’ He answered me.

‘I didn’t get the money.’ I whispered.

‘The money your aunt sends you?’ he asked. I nodded.

‘She never late.’ I said.

‘Well theirs still time, you’ll probably get it any day now.’ He said.

I tuned my face so we could see each others eyes, ‘She would always keep money for lunch.’

‘Ok?’ Jason said.

‘Theirs no money left on it.  I can’t eat lunch.’ I whispered again.  My tears kept going down my face, I couldn’t control them.

‘When did that start?’

‘About a week ago.’ I said.

‘Baby, why didn’t you say anything?’ he asked me.

‘What did you want me to say?  Jason, I don’t have money on my school card anymore?  I don’t know why but it has never, ever happened before.  She’s never late, I could always eat anything I wanted, and then all of a sudden I can’t even get a yogurt.  How can you explain that?  What did you want me to tell you!’ raising my voice.

‘You could have come to me.  Told me the truth, I could have given you money.  Leah I love you, and I know you don’t like it but I can help.  Don’t keep pushing me away, please don’t, I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.  Please, don’t push me away.’

‘I think something has happened to her.  I don’t know, but it’s just a feeling.’ I told him.

‘Maybe we could check the internet, see if there’s something there.’ He said.

‘Yeah, we could do that.’ I whispered and looked back out the window.

‘Jason…’

‘Yeah?’ He answered.

‘I have a really bad feeling.  What happens if he finds me?’ I asked him, the tears free falling down my cheeks.  After I said those words, I broke down, crying so hard I had trouble breathing.

I felt him at my knees, I lifted my face to see him.  He put his hands behind me, on my lower back and pulled me to him and I feel onto his lap.

‘Leah, I’m going to fight with everything I have for you to stay with me.  For you to be safe, happy and loved.  If he ever shows up, we will deal with it then but I’ll never give up on you, on us and I’ll find you wherever you go.’ Jason told me.

‘I’m sooo scared Jason.  It’s all I think about, when I sleep, I dream about what he did but I also see what he will do to me when he finds me.  I don’t think I have time to get to my birthday.’ I told him.

‘What if he kills me?’ I whispered.

‘I know but please don’t say that.  I love you so fucking much, I can’t lose you.  You mean everything to me, I don’t even think of other girls, all I see is you.  The way you walk, the way you talk, the way your ass moves when you walk.  Everything I have ever seen you do, it’s in my brain.  I could be at work and I think about you and I get a fucking hard on.  Don’t give up, on you, me or us.’ Jason answered me.

How could he be so sweet, so great, I fell in love with my perfect guy and I knew I was going to lose him.  I was scared shitless about my father.  I knew him, I knew he was coming but the only question was, when?

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