Deception *h.s*

Chapter Thirteen

Songs for this Chapter:

Happy Little Pill - Trxye-Troye Sivan

Touch- Tryxe- Troye Sivan

Fun- Trxye- Troye Sivan

Ride- Lana Del Rey

Brooklyn Baby- Lana Del Rey 

English Love Affair- 5SOS

I jolt awake, sweat dripping from my forehead, heart pounding out of my chest, teary eyes blurring my vision. I am alone, and scared beyond belief. I look around in the dark, the black shadows of the atmosphere of my room slowly consuming me.

I find the flashing red digital time on the DVR.

4 a.m.

I wake from the couch, my neck aching and my mind reeling with pessimism

I  silently walk to my room, almost on tip-toes, and lay on the bed, afraid. Afraid to fall back into an uneasy slumber and to face the monstrosity of my dreams. 

The air is hot, suffocating, thick, but I am too shaken to bother.

I can't sleep for the rest of the silent night. I am tossing and turning and thinking. 

It's all those indescribably disturbing images in my mind of what I had experienced in that horrible, horrible dream that refuse to leave my mind.

I try as much as possible to keep my eyes open, unwilling to face some stupid nightmare. 

I finally fall asleep at around 5:30, but only manage to sleep for two hours. A very restless sleep, might I add. 

The sun shines gently through the window, and I walk into the hot, pelting water of my shower. I stand under the shower head, the boiling water numbing my skin. 

Once I finally leave my shower, dry my hair and get dressed, I eat some breakfast.

Nothing too fancy of a breakfast, just a bowl of Cheerios.

 I quickly pace back to my room and grab a fresh white canvas. Once placing all my brushes, palettes, paint tubes and whatnot on the table, I start painting. 

My hands are lost in a rhythm that can only be explanatory when experienced. My soul is lost in a different, unseen planet. My mind is roaming in a happy, free world . And my heart; My heart remains exactly where it is because this is where it belongs. In all of this, my heart is content.  This is what I wish to always feel. To feel this excitement and pure bliss. This is what would make me happy.

I am awoken from my trance when there's a loud knock on my door.

I drop my paintbrushes and wipe my forehead with the back of my hand, momentarily staring at the picture held before me. The picture that only I have seen, the picture that I have created.

I open the door to meet a pair of deep green eyes .

"Hey" He says briefly.

"Hi." I reply . "Come in." I offer.

I wonder why he's here? Nevertheless, I need to apologize for my rather...emotional behaviour last night. It was in no way appropriate for me to have been in such a state with Harry around. This issue was personal, and I should not have given into soaking his T Shirt with my pathetic tears. 

I remember that my hands are still slightly stained with paint. 

"Excuse me" I smile, leading off to the bathroom.