Deception *h.s*

Chapter Nineteen

 Songs for this Chapter:

Bloodstream- Ed Sheeran

Photograph- Ed Sheeran <33

Afire Love- Ed Sheeran

I'm a Mess- Ed Sheeran

 Once in a Lifetime- One Direction

Lucky Ones- Lana Del Rey

Valerie's P.O.V.

Everything changed after that day. 

Everytime I think about him, my mind begins to buzz like the bees during spring searching for their pollen like I search for my closure.My thoughts grow ahead of me, and I cannot bear it. The worst type of insanity is that which is bred in your own mind.

I try to ignore it, thinking that perhaps it will go away. But that's never really the case, is it? Every little thing that I do takes me back to the precise moment that his lips were simply warm breaths before my own. He is an ocean whose made me learn how to love the slow waters of life, but it's come to a point where I am now drowning, flooded with my very own thoughts that consist mostly of only him.

"You all right, honey?" My mother says, sitting in front of me. 

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I'm back home in Philadelphia with my stepmother and Connor, of course.  

It's been It's been five days since Harry attempted to kiss me. Five days since I rejected him. Five days of struggling to breathe in my own mind.

I am a chipped wine glass. I've remained a chipped wine glass for so long, that all it took was a little more pressure for the chip tp turn into a crack, and now the crack is spreading across me at a rapid speed and it's merely moments before I break completely, spilling myself out everywhere with tears.

"Fine." I say, smiling at her reassuringly.

I notice that she seems to be doing a little better now that the last time I visited. Her eyes are not perpetually a shade of crimson red, her irises are a slightly brighter shade of blue, her face isn't as pale as before and I am glad. 

I realise that there is always a turning point. A point of realization , where one finally accepts all that is real . My mother seems to have taken that turn. Granted, she is still not her normal self, but she is trying and even her efforts are enough to reassure me that everything is going to be okay.

My mother walks into the kitchen, placing our dinner in the oven.

"Do you need any help, mom?" I ask as I sigh, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"That's all right,sweetie. I don't think I could handle you burning the house down." She smiles.

"Hey!" I whine, and I sound like the silly little thirteen year old girl I was years ago. 

"Hey,there." Whispers a voice that could only belong to Connor, as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Hi" I say, turning around as I give him a polite smile.

Connor greets my mother and she gives him an approving nod. 

I'm really thankful about everything that Connor's done for me. He's taken care of my mum while I was awa. He's been such a great person. But if he's so perfect, I don't understand why I can't get the picture of a certain man's capturing green eyes and tousled chocolate curls and pink chapped lips and deeply indenting dimples and warm, minty breath out of my head.