❝somtimes i think you are a human
hiding in a dog's body.❞
❇
with his best friends dead, sirius black feels that he truly has nowhere to go. lonely and abandoned, he becomes a dog, and roams the streets aimlessly, drowning himself in...
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Chapter Sixty Two: Merged
12 January, 1983
Remus didn't have a lot of bad habits, although his father has always been incredibly annoyed with his tendency to be too cuddly with dogs. He had a perfect routine which he followed every day, ate and slept on time, and was as healthy as a person could get. Recently though, Remus was finding it quite difficult to maintain a proper sleep routine. Ever since he has gained knowledge about the wizarding world, all he could think about were the horrifying ongoings of the war, the killings, the torture; which has eventually resulted in him becoming completely restless and unable to sleep at night.
Needless to say, the condition has worsened after his time in the basement.
One night, not unexpectedly, he was suddenly woken with a start. Nothing unusual was going on - there was no loud noise, and no one has moved him in his sleep. It was merely the heavy burden that has found a permanent residence in his chest that tended to press down on him every now and then, squashing his lungs and making it impossible to breathe.
As usual, he began to hyperventilate. His lungs seemed to be on fire, the air seemed to be carrying tiny needles whose sole purpose was to pierce and tear every cell in his lungs. His clutched the bedsheets with his fingers, wanting death.
But again, as usual, it passed. It took several minutes, but soon he was able to breathe normally and freely. He covered his face with his hands, wiping out the tears that have welled up. Then he turned to look for Sirius, who has fallen asleep beside him. Only, it wasn't Sirius on the bed next to him.
It was Santa Paws.
Remus didn't like to admit it, but the sight of the large black dog beside him gave him a fright. He had almost forgotten that Sirius was able to turn into a dog. But looking at the creature beside him suddenly filled him up with an odd affection. He recalled all the dogs he had left at the shelter, the ones who hopped in joy to see him, the ones that always ignored him and even the ones that didn't particularly like him, although the third category didn't have too many members, as they always eventually shifted to the former two.
Remus lay back down. He was about to wrap his arm around the dog before he remembered something Sirius had told him, all those weeks ago. Something about his animagus form. He retracted his arm and gently placed his hand over the dog's smooth neck, rubbing it slowly over his skin in an attempt to wake him up.
Santa Paws did wake up, but not without an annoyed huff and a groan. Remus couldn't help but laugh, despite the agonising pain he has gone through just minutes before.
"Hi, Santa Paws," he teased. Judging by the look on his face, Remus could tell that he still hated his name. "Why aren't you human?"
Santa Paws ignored him. He crawled closer and buried his muzzle under Remus's neck, starting to fall asleep again. But Remus moved back slightly, refusing to let him sleep.
