Shelter • wolfstar au

46 ; christmas celebrations

Chapter Forty Six: Christmas Celebration

25 December, 1982

It was Christmas. The festivity of laughter and happiness and everything good. The time for love, and family and forgiveness.

Then why didn't Remus feel the joy and peace that was associated with the festival? Why, upon waking up in the morning, was he filled with a terrible sense of grief that he could not define, why were his insides heavy like they have been transfigured into stone? Where was the merriness? The pleasant memories of his childhood and the life he led that usually permeated his soul and made his heart sore with happiness? Why were the only things that he felt right now nothing but a horrible longing for a life he knew he would never have?

The curtains were drawn, allowing the comforting sunlight to pour into his room, though it played no part in warming the air up. He rolled over and lay on his side, drawing his blankets over and around him, and enveloping himself in a cocoon of warmth that made him immediately think of Sirius and Nathan and Marlene. Did they have warm blankets or were they freezing in this early Christmas morning? Did wizards even celebrate Christmas? Even if they didn't, Remus felt that they should at least be bestowed with the happiness muggles were celebrating, if not for the sake of the ceremony, then at least for the turmoils they were going through.

He wondered if they remembered today was Christmas.

There was a knock on the door, but Remus didn't respond, basking in the imperceptible sunlight sailing into his room, and the hollowness that was eating away his insides. Lyall called out from the outside of his room, "Are you awake, Remus?

He wanted to nod, but he remembered that his father wouldn't see him. Gathering up the surprisingly small amount of energy he had, he asked him to come in, which he promptly did, though he lingered hesitantly at the doorway for a moment, observing his son with a look of concern.

"I wanted to wake you up earlier, but I thought you would want to sleep in," he said quietly, hesitating for a moment, "um – because you've been so down lately. I didn't want to bother you."

Remus let out a soft sigh and sat up on his bed, leaning back against the headboard. He knew what his father was thinking. He thought he would yell at him again if he fussed too much. "Come in and sit down, Dad," he invited him with a smile, patting the spot beside him with his hand. Lyall walked in tentatively and climbed into the bed.

"I understand you're worried about your wizard friends," he said warily, as though scared that he would pounce on him. Remus couldn't help but be amazed at the ease with which he was speaking about the wizarding world, how accepting he was of this new piece of information, so unlike Remus himself, who had taken weeks to finally accept the fact that Sirius wasn't a fraud. "There's a war going on, you said?"

Remus nodded mutely, putting on a jumper and playing with the strands of thread that had come loose. Lyall waited for a few minutes for him to speak, but when he didn't open his mouth, he continued.