Dandelion {Park Jimin AMBW}

{33}

{Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt}

Amara

I sat in my dorm room hugging my knees to my chest as I replay every single second of that night in my head. It's been two days and I've been a wreck ever since. I ignored every single phone call and text I have gotten, I added locks to my dorm room so Klaira wasn't able to get in and I haven't been eating. I haven't been sleeping an I haven't been to class. My whole world fell. I can't handle the celebrity life and I can't handle being associated with it.

I gave up on wiping my tears and just let them fall. I feel my phone vibrate once more but I don't bother looking to see who it was. It was either Bangtan or it was Klaira or one of my teammates. I let it ring out before looking at my gallery through al the pictures and videos of me and Bangtan. On my birthday was the day I lost them. I lost myself. I lost everything. I almost lost my best friend multiple times due to it. 

If only I hadn't had been nice to Jeon Jungkook. If only I hadn't had gone to Starbucks with Jeon Jungkook. If only I hadn't had gone to the suite with Jeon Jungkook. If only I hadn't have given my number to Jeon Jungkook. If only I hadn't have gone to the concert to see BTS. If only I hadn't had accepted the small picture gift from Jeon Jungkook. If only I hadn't had gone to the meet and greet specially for Klaira and I. If only I hadn't have said yes to dating Jimin. If only I had stuck myself and not been so nice. So naïve. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

I sigh as I feel my phone vibrate again and the name Min Yoongi came up and I click decline and I was greeted with a nice lock screen of Jimin and I kissing. I tear up more and I throw my phone at the wall and a wave of guilt and depression over come me. If only I hadn't have meet BTS I wouldn't be here. I get up and grab a full bottle of Advil when I hear knocking on my door. I saunter to the door and saw Klaira standing outside the door and I sigh and sit against the door while toying with the pill bottle in my hands.

"Amara I know you're here." Klaira says softly but I don't respond.

"Please don't shut me out." She says and I could tell how broken she was by her voice. If only I was strong enough to help her..

"This is all my fault." I mumble and I feel a pressure against the door and I figure she was doing the same thing I was doing. I lean my head back against the door.

"Please open up."

"Why? It's not like it'll make anything change."

"Amara please you're worrying me." Klaira whimpers

"You deserve...so...much more than what I can give you. I've taken away your self confidence. I've taken away someone you had a crush on and I've taken so many spot lights away from you. I'm sorry."

"None of that matters now because look where we are now?"

"A broken heart and loss of identity." I bud in.

"You loved him and he loved you."

"He doesn't love me. He hates me."

"Amara please-"

"Go away!" I shout as I twist the cap open and it pops.

"Amara what was that?" Klaira asks and I ignore her as I down the whole bottle, shaking the bottle as the pills rattle out the bottle.

"Amara stop!" Klaira sobs as she bangs on the door but the locks keep it from opening.

"Amara!"

"Amara stop!"

~~~~~