Always

Chapter 62

I hang up the phone and look at Harry. His eyes look, lighten not as soft and stressed. "I know your going to get mad at me for asking but I just have to know, did you and Louis do anything?' He asks looking nervous. Does he realy not trust me, well I wouldn't cause I made out with Rob.

"Harry, no me and Louis did not do anything your over reacting." I say trying not to get angry with him. I'm scared to tell him about Rob, maybe I wont tell him it would just be a white lie. I don't want this whole realationship to be based on lies though.

"You promise me you guys didn't, I don't trust him, and because he liked you for a little bit so I'm making sure." He asks again, does he really not trust me that much to ask again.

"No, Harry we didn't do anything. He was just helping me out. I was too drunk to drive home so he just let me stay with him." I explain.

"Okay good." He says realived.

"How are you?' I ask him, it sounds weird asking but I'm curious how he is, with everything with his mom this weekend it must be hard.

"I'm fine." He says and I can tell he is hidng something.

"Harry, really tell me whats on your mind." I say adjusting my blanket.

"Nothing." He says denying it again. I know he is having a hard weekend with everything going on, I want to hear what he's thinking.

"Harry, just tell me" I say.

"Fine." He says and clears his thought.

"It's been a rough weekend so far. Having to see my dad sets it off bad, than I fucked everything up with you. It's been even harder having the memorial this weekend, sunday actrally. Five years, I haven't seen her since five years ago and Its hard to think about. I just miss her so much, you know. I saw her everyday and know its been five years." He reveals his thoughts to me. I can't imagine how hard this must be on him.

"Well you didn't screw everything between us up. We will be fine soon, I just need a little time, and your dad he will be out of your life agiain in a few days, so you don't have much to worry about. Also for your mom, I know that must be tough and I can't imagine what you have been through but know I am here for you. Harry, let me be here for you through this." I say to him.

"Em, you don't need to be here I can do this myself. Its been almost five years I can take a few more days." He says acting strong.

"I want to be here for you." I say not breaking eye contact.

"I understand, if you don't want to go to the memorial after everything I said to you, and you said you need space so I would understand." He says with a raspy voice, I would never miss this memorial for anything. This will be so hard on Harry their, he even has his speach in front of everyone. I know how much he wants and needs me their. All his family will be their and I know how he feels about them.

"Harry, I am going to your moms memorial." I tell him and a smile on his face apears.

"Okay good, I need you there." He says and moves a little closer.

He leans and and I lean back, I can't get back into this with Harry right away. Not after everything he said even if he didn't mean it. He made me hurt, he made me cry and be in pain, and I can't get right back into this without thinking and taking a little break. I want to be with Harry, I really do, it's just hard seeing him after knowing he said that he doesn't want me in his life, whether he ment it or not.

"Harry." I say and put me hand on his chest stoping him.

"Em, I missed you too much." He says and I feel his breath on mine. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him badly to feel his lips on mine, but I know I can't I need this break, a break from him. I kissed him a little bit ago but that was diffrent, he cought me when I didn't expect it.