Always

Chapter 59

We dance for what it feels like forever, it was mostly jumping up and down, but I guess thats what everyone was doing. The alcohol took charge of me and I got all over him, not kissing him yet though.

"Wanna go up to my room?" He screams over the music.

"What?" I scream back not hearing him fully.

"Lets go up to my room." He screams again, if he thinks I'll have sex with him tonight I'm not going to.

"Sure!" I scream before I can even think, the next thing I realize I'm getting dragged up the stairs by a guy I just met maybe thats what people do these days, get into bed with guys they just met.

I pass Louis on my way up and he looks at me strange, I don't blame him cause last time he saw me I was with Harry. We make our way to his room, I realize its right across the hall from Louis maybe they're friends. He barley makes it through the door without falling. He sits me down on his bed and leans in. His nose brushes against mine and I feel nothing no feelings, which is weird cause whenever Harrys' nose touches mine I get lots feelings, but now I don't. Why is it like this, no feelings how come only with Harry?

I feel him breath on me and than his lips fall onto mine, I still feel nothing. Its blank my mind is blank. All I feel and think about is Harry, and I don't want to think about Harry. I'm not supose to be thinking about Harry when I'm trying to make out with someone else, thats not how this works.

I kiss Rob back, harder and harder trying to feel something at all but I still end up with nothing. The next thing I realize, I feel tears rushing down my face, but I'm still feeling nothing with him, absolutely nothing.

He pulls back noticing my tears, I break into a sob, a loud sob like how I was in the bathrrom. What am I doing, people don't do this. Why am I crying while I am trying to hook up with this guy I just met. If only he is the guy I wish I was hooking up with.

"Whats wrong?" He asks me, cunfused and I don't blame him at all, you don't make out with someone than have them start crying.

"I'm sorry, um, can we just go back to what we were doing?" I ask wiping my tears away.

"If you don't want to I can go find someone else to do this?" He says and I still feel no pain after him saying this.

"No, its okay." I say and I plant my lips on his trying to get Harry off my mind. Tears still fall, and I can tell he's getting aggravated.

"Just stop." He says pushing me away like every other guy tonight. "You have issues or something because you keep crying." His voice grows firm.

"I'm sorry, I need this, this distraction." I try to speak but the words come out fumbly.

"Okay fine I'll give this one last chance." He warns me and kisses me, I push my body ontop of him straddeling his waist. I keep on trying to feel something but I'm numb every where. His hands move up my butt and under my shirt.

Tears fall again and he pushes me off of him for the last time. "Okay, I'm done, and when I come back I expect you to be gone." He warns again and rushes out of the room, probably to find another girl.

I get up off the floor from where I fell after he pushed me, I walk down the stairs and grab another drink. I see Ashley sitting on a couch with Niall.

"Did you find Harry!" She asks all jumpy, still drunk.

"Yeah, lets not talk about Harry." I say and force a smile on my face, a few tears fall down and I wipe them off quickly.

"I hope everythings alright with you guys." Niall says as I take his beer out of his hand.

"I wish it was." I say taking a sip from it.