Always

Chapter 61

"Call me, if you need anything at all. If you need to vent to me, get him off your mind, need me to buy you food whatever you need just call me. Okay?" Ashley tells me, she's really bending her back for me here.

"Yes okay I got it, it's not like he died or anything." I joke at her.

"I'm just making sure your alright, I know how much you like him." She says with a smile.

"Ya, I did." I say honestly.

"Go to your party." I tell her and kick her off my bed.

"Ya Niall has been waiting for to long." She says and finally leaves.

I grab my laptop off my bed and login. I have to write a three page essay, and I haven't stated.

I start typing and I get about two pages in. My stomach groans, I'm so hungry I just don't feel like grabbing food. I check my phone looking at the time. It's only eight and I still have the whole night. I see that I have text messeges.

*I'm sorry, em can we just talk.* Harry sends.

*Did you and Louis do anything I need to know.* He sends be again.

*Can we get over this, what ever this is. How ever mad you are at me. I need you this weekend.* He sends anaother message. Why would he text any of these were not together anymore, but hearing he wants to be pulls on my heart. It hurts me knowing he will have to go to his mothers memorial without me, cause I know how much he wanted me their, if he didn't make that whole thing up but right now I feel like he didn't.

I set my phone back down ignoring all his texts, I need to do something to get him off my mind. I climb out of my warm bed and slide on my converse. I grab my wallet and walk off to the coffee shop.

I grab a medium coffee and a donut, the coffee shop is almost empty, everyone is probably at a party or something.

I grab a tabel next to the window, it starts to drizzle alittle and I stare outside and watch the rain fall. I pick at my nails removing the last of what nail polish covered a section of my nail.

I eat my donut and drink my coffee, I stay sitting in the same seat for what it feels like two minutes, until I realise how dark it is outside. I must have been so deep into my thoughts I lost track of time. I grab the remainder of my coffe and through it out. "Have a nice night." The lady at the counter tells me as I wak out. "You too!" I say and force a smile on my broken face.

I head up to me dorm and climb back into bed. I log on the laptop again and proceed with my essay.

I hear a knock on the door. "Come in." I yell not wanting to get up again.

I see Harry's curly long hair walk through the door and a frown falls on my face.

"You, you went upstairs with Louis and you know I don't like him. I know everything I said, and I know my words hurt you but let me explain.'' He yells, if he's mad over Louis I wonder how he will react when he hears about Rob.

"I was drunk, I was drunk and I just got back from my fathers after telling him he can't go to my mothers memorial. I don't like seeing my father, he wouldn't take no as an awnser. I don't want him to be their, I don't want him their at all, and I'm not going to let him be their. So last night I needed to get drunk, and blow off some steam, I needed that. You were their and I had alot of anger, and I let it out on you, I didn't mean any of those words I said to you what ever I said. I have never not cared about you. You were never and you will never me a girl I like to screw around with you mean so much more to me than that. My life has gotton so much better when you came along, and you know that. You make me feel whole again, I feel saved. you make me want to be a good person, I want to be good for you. I know I don't deserve you but let me be able to deserve you. I know I said all of those words to you, and I know you hate me for it, but please know I didn't mean them, and please just give me one more chance." He says to me, tears have fallen down my face. I don't know wether or not to belive him. It all sounds real, it feels good knowing he did care about me that I am not alone in this. I just don't know if I can move on over this after he said that though. He still said everything, they came off of his lips, to me you can't fix that part and take it all back. It's all set in stone now.

"Please." He begs and sits on my bed next to me.

"Harry, still you said that, how can I know for sure that this is all a lie?" I ask as he licks his lips.

"Emily, how can this not be real?" He asks me, he has that right. If what he is telling me right now, than I can take that.

"Harr-" I say and cuts me off by shaming his lips onto mine, I kiss him back tasting that returning vanilla sweet taste. My lips feel like their on fire in the best way possible. I miss the feeling of Harry's lips into mine, it makes everything feel real, like time stops and it's just me and him that matters. I set my hand on his cheek, not wanting to stop.

I pull back, processing everything that just happen. This is what kissing is suppose to feel like, not what happen with Rob that had no feelings unlike this. This makes me feel a rush of feelings all coming at me at once. I open my eyes looking at Harry's beautiful face.

"You don't have to say anything." He says and bites his lip the way I love.

"Harry." I say and chose my words wisely for what I'm about to say. He props himself up higher nervous for what I'm about to tell him. His eyes move to my lips looking at what I'm about to say.

"You can't take the words back, they left your mouth and they can't go back. It will take me some time to get over it all. An hour ago I would have thought you would have your tongue down some random sluts throught and now you come here and this happens. I want to believe you Harry, I really do I just need some space and try to believe you. My whole body has gone through so much in the last twenty four hours." I say and he looks at the bed, I can't tell what his reaction his.

"I understand, I want you to believe all of this. Everything I said, that was me talking to my father and I know you don't get that and I can't blame you for that." He says looking up at me.

"I want to believe you, and I can get over this I know I can just give me some time." I say, that kiss that I just shared with Harry made it all feel real but you can't change all this from one kiss.

"Were does this leave us?" He ask me.

"I don't know." I say honestly and let out a deep breath, I feel Harry slip from my fingers, I'm losing him. A tear falls and slides down my face.

"Don't cry." He says and wipes it from my cheek.

"The last twenty four hours has been all tears, I've got ton use to it." I say and I shrug my shoulders. His eyes soften and I regret saying that.

"Em, I didn't want that for you. I didn't mean any of that." He says and I nod.

"Can we stop talking about this please, I don't want to cry more." I say and wipe another tear, I can't take me and Harry not being together, my heart hurts thinking about it.

"Okay." He says and we both stay quiet not knowing what to say or do. I don't know were this leaves us and I'm scared to find out.

My phone starts to vibrate and I reach to grab it. Ashley's calling me, probably checking up on me.

"Hello?" I say to her.

"Hey, how's everything?" She asks.

"Good, Harry actually is here." I say, I hear music in the background.

"What! He is like next to you!" She screams in the phone and I hear Harry laugh.

"Ya, everything is getting better." I tell her, I hope this can get better. I hope I can get over this.

"Okay good, I would beat his ass if it wasn't.'' She says and laughs into the phone.

"Okay, I gotta go Nialls taking me upstairs." She says and the call ends before I say goodbye.

///Thanks for reading, it means so much!///