I’m going to put it out there,
I’m going to be blunt:
I hate you
But not for the reasons you think
It’s not about anger and fury
It’s not about that at all
Every time I hear your name
I feel a pang of…something
Not guilt
Not anger
Loss
Like I’m grieving every time I see your picture
Hear your voice
See your smile
That smile that’s directed at someone else
Someone other than me
And…it hurts
That’s what I hate
I hate what you’ve done to me
Do you not understand the hurt you’ve caused me?
Can you not see the pain in my eyes?
I have a dead look in them
My eyes
The hope and anticipation from before
Slowly draining away
Almost gone
Like a light is dimming underneath the surface
A tear slowly making its way to the surface
Ready to break it at any given moment
And when they’re least expected
They do
What is it that blinds you from seeing what is really going on?
How can you not see it?
How can you not see me?
-
And then there’s you
You accuse me of not trying hard enough
You have no idea how much I’ve tried
You don’t bother to dig into the facts
Investigate
Not even a little bit
And then I begin to recover from your blow
And you come back again to kick me when I’m down
To spit it back in my face
Shut up, please.
How can you not see the tears on my cheeks?
The pain in my every move?
The fragility of my heart?
-
The rest of you
All of you
Are you listening?
Are you looking at the words on this page?
Can you see them clearly?
Or are they translucent
Do they have no meaning
How can you be oh so blind?
How can you not see what is going on around you?
The broken hearts
The sorrow-laden spirits
The mournful eyes
Take action
Take responsibility
Don’t let the blindness overpower you
Because you are more than that
YOU ARE READING
Long Way Home
SpiritualPart 2 of the "Contemplative Compositions" series. After "Things to Think About" but you can read them in any order! Happy reading! FanTABULOUS cover by: @silentlaughter
