Stranger's Diary

...to worry

I burst into the room where Lia was. Was this anger? or frustration at the fact that I always have to deal with situations that aren't even in my control?!

"Lia what the hell!?"

"What dad why are you shouting i'm tired"

"ME TOO LIA, ME TOO, LIA WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

"Dad what? i'm just sick why am I the one you are angry at? You are the one that is never home!"

"... Lia that does not even relate to, you just sound like your mother... look, Lia"

I sat beside her on the bed she laid. Trying to calm my self. My wife is really affecting the kids.

"Lia, it's not me, or your mother, Lia"

"What is it dad"

We, Linda and I were so busy bickering we had not recognized our daughter was seeking attention, from the wrong place.

"Lia, three weeks, you are three weeks pregnant"

A room was never  been as silent as this, since the day I admitted to my wife about my mistress. 

"Dad"

I looked down in shame.

"It's fine, I mean, why be angry. What can we do about it. Don't even mention abortion. You already know since your baby brother a few years ago.... just do not abort. Your mother wouldn't appreciate it. promise me Lia."

looking at her, now, I said . . . 

"You know we cannot tell your mother right? Do you know she will blame this on me." 

She could no longer look at me but at her hands full of tears. 

"What you will do about this though, since you are almost seventeen, is move out. It's easier than you think"

Her sobs never stopped.

"And never tell your mother, just, move away and take care of you and your child, do not even consider the child's father. Do not bother with marriage. Your parent's marriage was never a good example, so how can you do any better? baby girl don't cry, it's all gonna be fine..." 

A kiss upon her head.

".... I promise, see, but this time Lia, we must go home, just go straight to bed but tell your mother it was just, food poisoning, and that you will be ok in a few weeks. We will worry about getting you into your new home later on"

"Dad, i'm sorry"

"I know honey, but let us  get you home, I have to go, still have some, work related things to tend to"

"But aren't you a teacher? What exactly do you have to do? Are you a teacher by day, spy by night?"

We both laughed but I knew she was serious about the question she asked, expecting an answer.

"We can talk all about it when I get back home"

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The drive home was, quiet. I knew that she knew our family was falling apart. I knew she wondered whether or not I would be leaving the home before her mother does. It does not matter, because we both have to sign the divorce papers, that I am still hinting at her to bring up. 

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On arriving, I sent Lia inside and told her to let her mother know that I will be home in less than a hour an half. She had not said a thing , but left. 

Is it wrong for an almost 40 year old man to be this desperate about a child only three years older than his eldest daughter? And I know this almost forty your old man is not good at keeping secrets. It isn't like i'm going to meet up with her to commit adultery or anything, I am only going to her because she is in desperate need. And I know a young, beautiful, I mean, a young innocent woman like her lives alone, and has no one to go to, no one for comfort, therefore she needs me. I am not going for any other reason. . .

. . .Right?