Diary Of My Life 💋👏

I'm fine

Dear love
Love isn't word to express someone even when u have the feelings u get attached by someone who treated so good but you are so scared because that person might be the  right for you or maybe he doesn't love you . Love is the best thing but in the same time the disadvantages is that u are so scared he might not be the same person you know.

Everytime wakes up from bed thinking about this weird question coming up on ur mind.
First question
Does he loves you?
Does he missed you? 
Does he cares about you?
Does he feel bad about you when u are sad or crying?
Does he understand what u feel deep inside?
Does he understand the meaning I'm fine?
Does  he loves you more than his dirty mind?
He loves you but he doesn't want sex with you? 
He do what you needs but his need is beyond the limits?
You cry EVERYTIME before  bed? ..

I know  those question have no answer but to me I found everything when I dated someone I thought he loves me but its turn out I'm nothing but a toy I'm not girl interested in bad stuff or dirty minded but judging me or reminding me of my past that's not the solution I'm trying to forget but u reminds me and I can't handle it I want to be alone but deep inside no one feels my pain.

I know loves hurt I'm not saying because I know what is love but I know love isn't easy thing there is always maze and mysterious things happening  but I know love is painful might cause you suffering and commit suicide. I started to not to believe who loves me who doesn't I do know who loves me who doesn't who cares about me who doesn't because after all I did I did because for you but then u force me on things that I can't do it anymore.

EVERYTIME I keep on thinking I get dizzy I get fainted I get over thinking over  things that's have no solution for it all those things hurts me deep inside like I'm in dark place with black paper I have no door but to suffer   all alone.