Queen of the Underworld

38

Dedication: @littleprincess8589 for being such a wonderful supporter! Thank you. <3

Faint voices could be heard in the background. They were so soft yet so loud. I couldn't stand it.

I tried opening my eyes, and eventually stopped trying. I felt incredulously tired, like my body weighed tons.

"Sia! Sia, hey can you hear me? Do you feel okay? Does anything hurt? Are you alive? Dammit Sia, I'm freaking out, please say something."

I managed a lazy smile at his panicked state. His words were ringing in my ears as his hand over mine registered in my brain.

"Woah there Speedy Gonzales." I said, hoping to ease his panic a little.

I heard him sigh and my own body stopped tensing. Feeling him relax made me relax, and feel pathetic by how much he affects me. I interlaced our fingers, and he tightened his hold on my hand, squeezing it reassuringly. My eyes fluttered open and I met my tired gaze with his intense one.

His beautiful brown eyes looked tired and drained. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked pained, forcing a smile on his lips. However, his gaze never left mine as he rubbed his thumb along mine.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to remember why I'm in a bed.

He bit his lip and looked away, as if debating his answer. He looked back to me and that pained and defeated look took over his face.

"You had a panic attack and you passed out." His voice was merely a whisper and his tone was sad.

I shut my eyes, everything coming back to me at once. "So the lady, it happened?"

He nodded slowly, "yeah."

Then my outburst really happened. I actually said all those things about being the cause of their doom and whatnot. Maybe that's why he looks so sad.

I meant every word. I am one hundred percent sure that if I weren't alive, none of this would be happening to this family. Mussolini's daughter confirmed it, and I knew all along. I won't take back the words, I knew they were true. Even if they decided to deny the obvious and act like I didn't create a bounty over their head, I couldn't deny it from myself any longer.

I also meant the bit about dying. Yes, the world and these people would benefit more and potentially be happier if I would just die. But, I would never be able to do it myself. No matter how true those words are, I would never be able to kill myself. I could never bring a gun to my head or blade to my wrists. I wasn't strong enough to end my own life and push aside the what-ifs. I am too scared of missing out on what could be a better future if I killed myself.

"Yoohoo, Sia?" Nicolas was suddenly closer to my ear as he whispered into it.

I jerked away slightly, startled by his proximity. He pouted at my reaction but didn't say anything else.

"Sorry," I muttered.

He shrugged, "eh, it happens. I was probably boring you anyways. I bored them." He smiled at me like a little kid and gestured to everyone in the room.

I hadn't even realized they were here. I soon came to realize why I couldn't move my other hand. Veronica was sitting on a chair, her head on the bed and her hand interlaced with mine. She was sleeping profoundly even though the position she was in had to be uncomfortable.

Gabriel was on the couch nearby, he was sprawled across the lot of it, his head on the arm rest and his legs hanging off the sides of the other.

Mateo was on the other side of the couch, under Gabriel's legs. He was sitting up with his head hanging back and light snores coming from his body. I couldn't help but smile at the way his hands were gingerly placed on top of Gabriel's legs.