Nerd Model Killer; BOSS 2

10- Her Life Is Hell

Jacob Fleming

Waiting in the library for Carmen to turn up for the two way tutoring made me feel sick inside. After what Carmen did this morning I'm not sure what to think. I mostly think I'm terrified. But also I think I like her even more now.

"Don't be so scared of me Jacob. I don't plan on hurting or killing you. What happened today was due to the fact I've been dosed up with a lot of painkillers to help minimize the pain of a couple injuries I received not too long ago. The painkillers got to my head and triggered my brain to release a lot of adrenaline onto my body." Carmen slowly stepped from behind a bookcase. Her bag slung over her shoulder. "Whenever adrenaline comes into play I tend to forget who I am and become who I was supposed to be." She seems to study me for a few seconds before walking towards one of the tables off to the side.

Not wanting anything to happen that could lead in me being taken away in a bodybag, I follow. Sitting opposite her I slowly pull my maths books from my bag and sit them on the table infront of me. Carmen lent back in her chair. Watching my every move. "Aren't you going to get your books out?" Grabbing a pen and highlighter I flick my gaze to her. She snorted in amusement.

"Oh please. I already know all this stuff. It's not that hard. I learnt how to do all this when I was 12. My education has always been expensive and very harsh. Unlike you and your mates who've always had it easy." I jerk up straight at her words. Incredibly offended.

"Easy? You think my life has been easy?" Leaning forwards I glare sharply. This time. I mean it. Feelings aside she's hit a nerve that I hate having struck.

She leant forwards. Dark eyes calm and serious. "Yes. I do. I'd like you to prove me otherwise. If you can." The challenge in her voice made all my nerves spike.

"Years back my family was attacked. Our house filled with lead by the old allies of a family enemy my parents thought they got rid of. I was around 6 maybe 7 years old and being shot at for a reason I didn't understand. People want me dead wherever I go. The others are my family. Not by flesh and blood but they're still family. We're all hunted. When I'm not worried for my life. I'm worried for theirs. I've gone through so much pain to become who I am today. More pain than any person should ever be put through. Yes I have money and fame. But that doesn't stop you from feeling alone and empty in a world where you life is run by the rule of kill or be killed. That is not an easy life Carmen." I spoke low and quiet so only she could hear me. She didn't seem effected by it at all. She just sat there, her expression unchanged.

"The first time someone tried to kill me was when I was 3 months old Jacob. I was a baby and someone tried to kill me. All because of who my family was. Ever since I was born people have wanted me dead. Ever since I was born my whole life was planned out for me and written I a contract that I was forced to sign when I was 5 years old. I've been beaten, stabbed, shot at. I've been kidnapped 9 times but all of that didn't matter because I use to have everything. A loving family. Enough money to buy anything. As much fame as you and your families have all together. I use to be a golden girl that everyone dreamed to be. But then people came and killed my family right in front of me. They shot my twin sister. How would you feel if you had Jamie shot right in front of you and watched as he slowly died, unable to be saved?" Nothing about her changed as she spoke. But I did. I fell back into my seat. Her words like a shock wave, sending be reeling back.

"I have money. But I don't have family. I don't have the support of fans because I'm forgotten. I'm dead in people's eyes. They don't know who I am anymore. Everything I ever cared about was taken away and I was forced to live out the terms of my contract earlier than I should have. My life is controlled by words on paper. Words that can't be changed no matter how hard I wish for it. When everything was destroyed I lived outside the city in the forests. I didn't eat. My ribs were showing. I was dehydrated and beyond exhausted. I was dirty and so sick that I would experience extreme hallucinations on a daily basis for another 7 months after someone found me and cared for me. People still want me dead. They try to kill be every day. The only thing keeping me alive is you and the other second generation 8 Riches beating me up. There's a reason I haven't tried to stop you. You saw how hard Campbell and Max were struggling to keep me down earlier today. You can't stop hurting me Jacob. Because if you do then we'll all be dead. Neither can you go around thinking your life is so unbearable because there are people like me who would kill everyone on earth to have what you have." There was still no emotion visable on Carmen. I don't know how there wasn't because I felt like a hole had just been torn in my chest.

Every time I beat her it helps her. Every day people try to kill her yet every day she still walks into school and goes about life as if nothing had happened.

Yet in these past couple days something has happened. Carmen isn't like the Carmen of last week. Now instead of seeing a small nerd I see a deadly weapon with a past so wrapped in trauma it would have taken an army of therapists to help any normal person to recover from it. But here she is. Nowhere near normal. Speaking about how her family and her whole life got destroyed right in front her her with absolutely no emotion.

Now I'm really starting to feel bad. Now I want to stop hurting her but she's saying hurting her means we all stay alive. Whatever it is that's going on has something to do with a contract she had to sign. Whatever that contract is clearly has a tight hold on her life. I want to know what it is. I have a strong urge to help her. I just don't know how.

How do you save someone this broken?