The Fuckboy ~S.M.~

XXXV {Confused}

{Courtney's POV}

Concentrate Courtney. Concentrate.

I keep looking at my feet so I won't trip over them. You can expect everything from me, even the clumsy shit.

And I'm holding only one of Shawn's hands because... Yeah, he can't really use the other one. What makes it ten times harder for someone like me.

I hear that familiar chuckle but don't look up, "What are you laughing at Mendes!?"

"It's cute how you skate," and he tilts my chin up so I see his face, "but I rather see your pretty face than your beautiful hair to be honest." After those last words he winks at me, making me laugh.

"Shut the fuck up fuckboy", I say and I give him slightly a push. I quickly try to get my balance again and I see him looking with a smirk at me.

"Did you just push me?", he asks as he starts to skate around me.

"What are you gonna do about it? Push me?", I ask with a laugh and I cross my arms, "You wouldn't do that to me, I know you better than that."

"Ooh I would do that, believe me."

"Try me."

He starts to skate towards me but out of reflex I put a step backwards, causing me to lose my balance and grabbing the nearest thing I can hold in my hands. I fall backwards and because I grabbed Shawn's T-shirt, he falls on top of me.

"Oh my god Shawn! I'm so sorry!", I see the pain in his face, "Are you okay!?"

"Yeah, it's just, I tried to save the fall by putting my hands on the ground... NOT my smartest idea", he says while he pulls his one hand towards his chest.

"You're sure you're okay? Sure we don't need to go to a doctor?", I ask concerned.

"I'm fine, relax", he laughs and he looks in my eyes, then I see him looking at my lips.

Our faces are centimeters from each other apart. He starts to lean in and everything feels like it's going in slow motion...

Oh no, is he gonna kiss me? Or am I imagining things that aren't there in reality. I mean, I don't want that he kisses me... Or do I...

He is so close that I can feel his warm breath. One side wants to run away...

But the other side is craving for his lips...

I close my eyes and right at the moment I think he's gonna do it...

He backs away and gets up.

Stunned of what just happened I stay on to the ice. He offers me his hand and I take him so he can pull me on my feet again.

What just happened???

What the actual fuck just happened Lord!?

"You're okay?", he asks like what just happened was the most common thing to happen.

"Ehm... Yeah, I guess so...", I say a little confused, "How 'bout your hand?"

"Fine, my hand only hurts a little, like... I feel it beating...", and he shows me his right hand, covered in bandage.

I carefully grab his hand, trying not to hurt him more. The minute I touch his hand I feel butterflies in my stomach. I quickly let go and look at him, "Maybe we should go back to your home, are Karen or Many home?"

"Ehm... I don't know for sure...", and I see him thinking, "Wait, I think that my mom should be home."

"Great, let's go back then, shall we?", and I fake a smile. He smiles back and grabs my hand, giving me more butterflies than before, and together we skate back to the exit.

We put our ice skates away and go to the car. The walk towards the car we talked like there literally happened nothing.

Did I just imagine what happened? Or did he indeed lean in for a kiss? And why does this bother me more than the other times we almost kissed? And why would I just imagine that out of nowhere? But if he leaned in for a kiss, why is he then pretending like there didn't happened anything? And why did I feel butterflies in my stomach when I touched his hand? And why am I asking all those questions?

Ugh, he makes me so confused!

We both take a seat in the white car and he starts to drive to home. He sings along with the radio but my thoughts are taking over my mind.

Why... Tell me why... Why is everything with him so complicated? Have you ever felt the feeling when you don't know what the fuck your feeling!? Well, I'm feeling that right now.

Not much later we arrive at his place and we both go inside.

"MOOOOOOOOM", he yells through the big villa. We don't hear any response so I follow him to the living room.

Shawn goes to the kitchen for some water when I hear footsteps behind me.

"Shawn!? Courtney!? Why are you not at school!?", I hear the voice of Mrs. Mendes saying.

I turn around but before I can say something, Shawn is faster, again, "Mom, Courtney had some trouble with concentrating at school after what happened", he says and he hands me some water. I just sip a little bit and wait for her response.

"Oh hunny!", she walks towards me and gives me a hug, "You're alright? Need some warm chocolate with marshmallo- oh Shawn stop with laughing! It is not that funny!"

"Sorry mom", and he tries to hide his smile. I don't understand what's going on so I just keep on drinking.

"He thinks the way I pronounce marshmallow is funny", and she rolls her eyes.

"It is!", he defends himself. She keeps looking at him, "What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be at school!?"

"And let Courtney," he puts an arm around my shoulder, "walk to here alone!? Hell nah!"

"I could have picked her up", and she crosses her arms.

"Come on mom", and he gives her a soft box against her shoulder, "you know that I care about her!"

"And I know that you will use every opportunity to skip school yeah", and she looks annoyed at him, "Tomorrow you're going to school but she stays here. Point out. But okay, I'm gonna work further, don't be too loud please", and she goes upstairs again.

"Want to watch a movie?", he asks as he jumps into the couch.

No and yes...

No because I'm not in the mood for a movie...

Yes because I want to use this opportunity to cuddle with him under a fluffy blanket...

Wait what???

"So? What about Harry Potter?", I can hear the joy in his voice.

"Sgood", I grab a fluffy blanket, pull it over me and go sit next to him. He takes the blanket off of me and puts it over the both of us. I rest my head upon his chest and his arms wrap smoothly around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He puts the TV on and start the movie.

I wish this moment could last an eternity...

A/n: I'm in Firenze right now and it is beautiful!!!