The Space Between

She Put That Bottle To Her Head And Pulled The Trigger

Once the summer had ended, Nate and I returned home only to be summoned back to the ranch a few short weeks later. Steve, Nate's father, had a heart attack. He passed away unexpectedly. Since the day of the incident down at the river, he had made the effort to be a more present father and husband. He apologized for leaving me alone so much and promised to be there more. So far he had kept that promise.

I held his hand as we approached the house. I could tell the tears were threatening to spill over again. It was going to very a tough week for the entire family. As soon as he stepped out of the car, Shane hugged him. They held onto each other for a few moments before letting go. Shane's eyes were bloodshot and puffy. You could tell he had been crying. Taylor was next followed by his mother. I didn't want to intrude so I gave them privacy.

"Where's Demi?" I asked. I was surprised she wasn't here to see Nate.

"Over there." Shane said pointing toward the house.

"She's not taking it too well." Taylor added.

"Drinking?" I asked.

"No." Shane said shaking his head. "She hasn't even cried yet. It's like she doesn't accept that it's happened. She won't talk about it."

"She's also been drinking. Heavily. It's bad Sel." Taylor said, the worry evident in her eyes.

"Where's Naya?" I asked.

"She can't be here. She's filming right now." Taylor answered. "They've been fighting a bit the past couple weeks anyway. I think they might be on a break." She added.

"How is he?" Shane asked referring to Nate.

"He's ok. He's sad and I think he's still a bit shocked." I answered.

I watched as Shane walked away toward Nate and his mother. The three of them embraced and I could tell they were crying. I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked away.

"She needs you Sel." Taylor said as she glanced over at Demi.

I watched as she took a drag from a cigarette. "Is she smoking?" I asked slightly shocked.

"Yeah..." Taylor trailed off.

I continued to watch Demi as she paced around on the porch. She flicked the cigarette butt out into the yard and blew out one last cloud of smoke. She looked over in my direction and stared for a few moments before disappearing into the house.

"It's not my place Taylor. I have to keep my distance. You know that."

"She still loves you Selena."

"I doubt it Tay." I sighed. "Drop it."

"Let's go inside." Taylor said as Nate, Shane and his mother headed toward the house.

"Where's Gracie?" Shane asked.

"She's with my parents." I answered.

He nodded. "I miss her."

"You should come visit."

"I will."

The rest of the afternoon was spent sorting through some of Steve's things. Connie wanted each of them to take some things to remember him by. Demi refused to have anything to do with it. I could tell she was drunk. It wasn't even three in the afternoon and she could hardly walk.

"Nate. I'm going to check on Demi. I don't think she's doing so good."

"Ok." He said giving me a kiss. "Thank you for everything Sel."

"I love you." I said softly.

"I love you too."

I left the rest of the family in the den and looked around the house for Demi. I couldn't find her. I decided to check outside and there was still no sign of her. I walked toward the back yard and I could hear a steady thumping sound. As I turned the corner, I saw her lifting an axe high above her head and swinging it downward. I watched as the log split in half. She quickly picked up another log and repeated the process. She didn't even notice I was watching. I could see the bottle of whiskey laying on the ground close to her feet. She looked agitated.