The Space Between

What If I Was Nothing

I focused on my breathing as I put one foot in front of the other. Slowly I marched to my death. I could feel the cold steel as he pressed the barrel of the gun into the back of my neck. Selena and Gracie's crying rang loudly in my ears. This was the only way. I knew as soon as I got him out of the house, Selena would call 911. I would die but they would live an that's all that mattered to me.

"You don't have to this." I said as we stepped out the front door.

I heard Selena scream my name.

"Yes I do. It's the only way." He said in return.

"I know you're hurting Nate. Think about what you're doing. There's no turning back if you do this. What do you hope to accomplish?" I asked trying to stall him.

He shoved me forward without saying a word. I landed hard on my knees and winced as the gravel dug into the palms of my hands.

"Don't move." He growled.

"So this is how it's going to be? You're gonna shoot me in the back when I'm on my knees." I said as I felt myself growing angry.

"Something like that." He answered.

I pushed myself up off the ground and turned around to face him.

"Fuck you Nate. You can look me in the eyes."

"Turn around!" He yelled at me.

"No."

"Turn around." He said his voice low and menacing.

"Make me." I said as I met his steely gaze.

I could see him struggling with what he should do next. He opted to step closer and push the barrel of the gun against my cheek.

"Get on your knees." He hissed.

"No." I said as I tried to keep my breathing even. "I'll die standing, not on my knees."

I watched as his face twisted into an ugly snarl. He kicked my knee and I immediately dropped and cried out in pain.

He leveled the pistol on my head. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact. I didn't see her at first but I could hear her. It was Gracie and she was running toward us screaming at Nate to stop. He glanced over at her and I immediately tackled him.

"Gracie!" I heard Selena scream as she chased after her.

As Nate and I rolled around on the ground, I attempted to get the gun away. He was too strong. I continued to fight with him and hoped I could last until help arrived. As we struggled, I managed to get a hold of the firearm. We both pulled and pushed in attempt to gain control. The loud bang when it went off caused us to both stop fighting. He quickly stood up as I stayed on the ground. The pain was excrutiating. I didn't have time to process what was happening. I heard another gunshot ring out and watched as Nate lurched forward and fell to the ground.

I looked around and I saw Gracie clinging to Selena. Taylor had her arms around both of them.

Shane. It was Shane. He was standing about 30 feet away holding a rifle. He lowered the weapon and ran toward me. I could hear the sirens approaching in the distance. I felt Shane's hands on me as he tried to pull me up.

"Come on Dem. Get up." He said

"I can't. My leg." I winced as I pointed to my blood soaked thigh.

"Do it for her." He said pointing toward Gracie. "Don't let her see you like this." He added as he grabbed my arm. "Get up."

"Is he...?"

"Yeah." He answered quickly.

It didn't take long for Selena to hand Gracie off to Taylor and run over to me. My leg was throbbing and gushing blood. The red stained my pant leg. She looked pale an scared as she approached me.