The Space Between

I Promise I'm Gonna Hurt You

I hated flying. It made me nervous. I also wasn't looking forward to the inevitable swarm of paparazzi that would greet me once I landed in LA. It didn't take much for someone to recognize me and start tweeting about it. I was certain several of the passengers had already done so.

As I waited for the plane to taxi, I couldn't help but think of her. I wondered what she was doing and if she was ok. I fought the urge to text her the entire drive here. I had asked Nate for her number, which was probably going to be a huge mistake. He was happy to give it to me though. What an idiot. I wish he would just call me out on my shit, so I could apologize and stop undressing his soon to wife with my imagination. And let me tell you, I'm pretty sure I'm doing more than just undressing her. I frown. I'm such a terrible person.

Once we took off, I couldn't wait until we reached cruising altitude. After what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess began the beverage service.

"What can I get you?" She asked.

"Umm, a jack and coke please." I answered.

I stared at her ass as she walked away. Maybe flying isn't as bad as I thought.

She returned and smiled. "Here you go." She said.

"Thank you...Vanessa." I said catching her hand and reading her name tag. "I like that name."

She blushed. "Thank you. I love your band by the way." She smiled before continuing with her work.

I sat and stared out the window. I ordered several more drinks and found myself buzzing pretty good. Thank goodness for sunglasses, I thought. I spent the rest of the flight shamelessly flirting with Vanessa, the stewardess and ended up with her phone number by the time the plane landed. I grabbed my carry-on bag and exited the aircraft. Sure enough, I was bombarded at the baggage claim. Luckily I had the foresight to contact my management and security teams.

My bodyguard quickly escorted me to a waiting SUV and went back to retrieve my luggage. I pulled out my phone and took a quick picture of the sign that was posted out in front of the airport entrance. I opened it up in an app and quickly edited it by applying a filter and cropping it neatly. I then proceeded to text it to Selena. I wasn't surprised when she didn't respond.

Once I arrived at my house, I was relieved that it was empty. Thank goodness, she got the hint. I figured she would. She might be a model but she's not dumb. I preferred to just ignore her until she disappeared. I'm not very good at dealing with all the confrontation and crying that comes with actually breaking up with someone. It's terrible. I checked around the house and sure enough, all of her shit was gone. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and smiled. Selena ha texted me back. She sent me a picture of a pile of cow shit. I couldn't help but laugh.

I spent the next few days in meetings. I had made the decision to leave the band and go solo. There were a lot of technicalities and legal shit that had to be worked out. Songwriting royalties and copyright issues. I wasn't going to let the band replace me and continue to sing songs I wrote. Fuck that. As I sat in one of my afternoon meetings, I felt my phone vibrate. I took it out and opened a text from Selena.

I miss you...

How's Nate?

You're an asshole

Just wondering

Bye

I laughed out loud which earned me some weird looks. She was a real piece of work. I knew I shouldn't have texted her. She's bad for me. She's probably sitting there with my brother texting me about how she misses me. It wasn't innocent either. It wasn't like two friends that actually just missed each other, it was more like I miss you because I'm extremely attracted to you and I want to fuck your brains out. It just wasn't ok.

Once I finished with all the boring ass meetings, I went back home and decided to spend some time in my studio. I sat down and started to write in one of my lyric journals. Every single word I wrote down was about her. It was frustrating. I dropped the pen and went to my kitchen. I needed to calm my nerves. I got into the liquor cabinet and pulled out the Jack. I dropped some ice cubs into a glass and poured me a nice stiff drink. By the time I finished my third one, I was walking around my house singing horribly and off key. I'm pretty sure it was a Katy Perry song, anyway like an idiot I decided that it would be fun to text people. Worst idea ever. I really just couldn't resist. I texted Selena.

You make me want to do bad things

Stop

You're no fun

Why are you doing this?

You started it

No I didn't

Yes you did

I'm not doing this with you

Why? Are you afraid of feeling something?

It's too late for that

I couldn't believe what I had just read. Before I could process what she meant by that, my phone started ringing. It was her.

"Hey." I said awkwardly.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked sadly.

"You said you missed me." I slurred.

"Dem." She sighed. "We need to stop."

"What do you feel Sel. Tell me." I whispered.

"No." She said softly. "Please don't text me anymore."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as I hung up the phone.

I woke up the next morning passed out on my living room floor. I could hear the insistent pounding on the front door accompanied by someone repeatedly pressing my doorbell.

"Wait a fucking minute!" I growled at the rude visitor.

I opened the door and rolled my eyes when I saw who it was.

"Long night?" She asked as she pushed past me and into the house.

"Yes." I mumbled. "Wait. Did you cut your hair?" I asked her as she headed toward the kitchen.

"No, I woke up and it was like this." She said rolling her eyes. "Yes. Dipshit. I cut my hair."

"Jen, I'm not in the mood for your mouth today." I warned.

"And I'm not in the mood to find out that you're back in town from a gossip channel. The only reason I know you're home is because TMZ told me, you prick!" She exclaimed.

"I've had a lot on going on. I'm sorry." I tell her as she made coffee.

I watch as she picks up my phone and unlocks it. I really need to change the password, I think as she starts to go through my phone.

"Who the fuck is Selena?" She asks.

"My brothers fiancé." I answer.

"Are you serious? What's the deal? You better fucking explain cuz from where I'm standing its looking very scandalous." She says.

I sigh heavily and pretty much facepalm. I sit down and explain everything. Once I'm finished she just sits and stares at me.

"What are you gonna do Dem?" She finally asks.

"Nothing." I answer. "They are getting married in a month."

"Clearly she's into you." Jen states.

"Does it really matter?" I ask.

"It might." She says. "What happens later on when you guys are around each other. Do you think you're gonna be able to keep your hands yourself?"

"Can we just not talk about this please?" I sighed.

"You came home to get away from her. Oh my god!" She exclaimed.

"Jen, I'm gonna go take a nap. I'll talk to you later." I muttered as I walked upstairs to my room.

I climbed into bed and laid down face first in the pillows. I wasn't surprised when Jen climbed into the bed next to me and got comfortable. She pulled out a book and started to read. As I fell asleep, the only thing I could about was Selena.