The Space Between

Life Kinda Just Keeps Happenimg

It had been nearly 8 months since Demi left me crying on her bedroom floor. The first week was absolutely horrendous. I would watch her stumble out into the night drunk and heartbroken. I was angry with her then. Not anymore. She was right. We had to stop. I left the ranch shortly after Demi ended things between us. I couldn't be around her. She had become moody and extremly self destructive. I couldn't handle it. My heart was broken and I couldnt stand to watch as she slowly destroyed herself. I left without saying goodbye. It was for the best.

Once I had told Nate about the pregnancy he was ecstatic. I reconnected with him and found the love that I had been missing. He never knew any different. I finally had my perfect marriage. He took care of me and loved me unconditionally. When I was with him, I almost forgot about Demi. Almost. I think that I will always carry a part of her with me. She'll always be my secret. A love that I'll never have. She deserved more than I gave her. I never told her that I loved her. And I did. I loved her so much and she will never know. That's the hardest part of this for me. I want her to know so badly, but it's just too late. I've moved on.

Taylor and Shane had gotten married a couple months ago. Their wedding like Nate and I's, was held at the ranch. It was a beautiful evening ceremony. I saw Demi but she wouldn't talk to me. She seemed to be doing ok. Taylor told me that she had been drinking a lot still, but she had more good days than bad days. I missed her, but it was a dull ache. Time was slowly healing my heart and I was grateful. I rarely thought about her at all anymore.

Nate had become my sole focus these past few months. I felt like I had fallen in love with him all over again. Without even realizing it, he helped heal the heartbreak his sister left me with. Once again he became everything I had ever wanted. I smiled as I watched him putting the baby's crib together. His forehead was scrunched in concentration. He looked like he was attempting to solve the mystery of how the universe was created, it was cute.

"I feel like I'm performing brain surgery." He laughed as he attempted to fit the pieces together.

"Babe, you went to Harvard you'll manage." I smiled at him.

"Somehow I doubt my law degree is going to save me right now."

"I believe in you." I said trying to sound serious. Our conversation was interrupted by my phone ringing. "Hello?" I said into the receiver.

"Hey Sel!" It was Taylor.

"Hey Tay! How are you doing?"

"I'm doing great. Just wanted to check up on you, Nate and the bun you have in the oven."

"We're good. Just anxious for her to be born."

"You and me both!"

"How's Shane?"

"Hes good. He's been working a lot. Demi has been back and forth between the ranch and LA a lot lately, so his workload is a little heavier."

I swallowed at the mention of Demi's name. "She must be recording or something."

"I don't think so..." She said trailing off. "Anyway, when are you guys going to be coming down here?"

"Probably a few months after the baby is born. We want to get adjusted and then bring her out so the family can spend time with her."

"I'm so excited!" Taylor gushed.

"We are too." I smiled.

"I hate to cut this short Sel, but i've gotta get going. Shane and I are moving the cattle back down to the pastures. It's going to be a long day for us."

"I'll talk to you soon. Bye Tay." I said as I hung up the phone.

I sat and continued to watch Nate as he built our daughters crib. As I watched him, I found my mind wandering to Demi. I knew that she hated flying so her constant back and forth trips to LA made no sense to me. She had to have a good reason to travel so often. I slowly began to realize my mind was beginning to wander to places it really shouldn't. Demi was behind me and I needed to leave her there. As I sat there trying to get my brain to get off the topic of Demi, my water broke.