His Wife's Heartbreak

Lunch

My heart hurts. It aches. I literally feel it pounding against my chest.

Nate brought me to this restaurant. It's an Italian place that has really good garlic rolls but I'm not hungry. I find it funny that after all these years Nate still works for Joshua. Why?

Joshua is supposed to be meeting me here and he's late. I checked my watch one last time before I called the waitress over. "Can I get a glass of water?" I asked.

"Yes ma'am" she hurried to the kitchen and I waiting in silence.

I played with my hands and looked out the window, watching this family walk down the street having a fun time.

I need to take Kenny on a vacation. Somewhere far and remote. Maybe an island for a little while. Maybe Hawaii, after he saw Moana he can't help but be mesmerized by the ocean.

Just another little thing that Joshua will never know about him.

"Ms. Matrix"

I look up and I see Joshua standing over me. I didn't say anything I just looked at him stunned. Shocked that he showed up.

He sat down and picked up a menu. "What are you having?" He asked.

He hasn't changed one bit. He looks exactly the same just a little skinnier like he hasn't been eating and his eyes are a little darker, like he gets little sleep.

"Nothing, I'm not hungry" my dry voice croaked.

The waitress handed me my water and turned her attention to Joshua. "What can I get you, sir?" She smiled.

"I'll have a coke and a turkey sandwich and she'll have..."

"I'm not eating" I said loudly.

"Nonsense" He said not looking up from the menu. "What would you say a salad?" He asked.

"I'm not-"

"A salad for her, Italian dressing. Thanks a lot" he handed her the menu and she walked away.

I took a deep breath and a second to collect my thoughts. "So how've you been?" He asked.

He leaned toward me like he was making a business proposal. I used to hate it when he sat like this.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"I can't have a conversation with you?"

"No" I said sternly.

"Valentina-"

"Let's make this quick" I cut him off. "I have to go back to work" I don't really I took the day off but I just want to get out of here, away from him.

"Where are you working now?" He asked as he leaned back.

"A job"

"Don't get smart with me" he shook his head. "I can easily find out from Nate"

"Nate doesn't know, he didn't pick me up from my job or my house"

He clenched his teeth. "I just want to know how you have been is that such a-"

"You asked me to lunch to talk about Kenny" I cut him off. "So let's talk"

The waitress came back with his coke and walked off again.

"Victoria would be a wonderful person around Kenny"

"I do not want another woman around my son"

"You do not decide that"

"Oh I very much do" I chuckled. "I talked to a lawyer as soon as you left me. The cards are in my hands and you're playing a very dangerous game"

He looked at my lips then at my eyes. "I didn't even know he was my son"

"You still don't, you said he could be Michaels and a judge won't like that accusation at all"

"Why are you doing this?" He frowned.

"I'm protecting Kenny"

"From who?"

"From you!" I exclaimed. "You don't know how devious of a person you are, Joshua. I don't want my son to be around someone like that"

"But him being around your mother is okay?"

"My mother isn't well" His face softened and he looked away from me. "You don't know, how hard it's been" I felt my eyes tear up. "I was afraid and alone and you didn't care!"

"I had a reason"

"You didn't have a reason, you just didn't love me but you were too much of a coward to say it. You let it all play out and then two days later you divorced me"

"I didn't divorced you, I filed for divorce. We are still technically married, I can arrange for some-"

"No!" I said semi-shouted. "I don't want to be in your presence. I don't want to be in the same room as you, because you disgust me!" I spat.

I surprised myself as I said these words. I've never spoken like that with anyone and to finally get out the things I've been feeling feels good. He breathed heavily and listened as I talked.

"Kenny doesn't know anything about you. It can stay that way, you and Victoria can live happily together with nothing to worry about"

"I'll worry about you guys" he said in a low voice.

I almost feel sorry for him. I feel like I'm being so incredibly rude.

"Don't, we're fine. We don't need anybody"

The waitress came back and place our food down in front of us. "Thank you" I smiled at her. "How are you?" I asked him.

"Good"

I looked at him closely and studied him. He's trying to put on this facade, faking like he's fine but his tie was crooked. His hair was slightly messy and he had a five o'clock shadow at two in the afternoon. He is definitely not okay.

I can finally see through him. I've finally broke down his wall of secrecy and now he is just as he is. A mess.

"You don't look okay" I said honestly.

"And you're happy about that" he stayed.

"Why would I be happy?"

"I ruined ours lives, Valentina. I was so happy with you"

I turned my head and stopped paying attention to him.

"Look at me" he said.

I kept my head turned and focused on something else.

"I care, okay? I wanted to get in contact with you but I..." He got quiet searching for something to say.

"I need to go" I said pushing my chair back.

"Wait" He yelled. "Just let me say this"

"I've heard all I needed to hear. You are not changing my mind and you are not getting Kenny, that's it" I started to get up.

"This isn't all about Kenny, Valentina!" He yelled.

It got really quiet in the restaurant and we got numerous looks from people eating their food, watching us like a show. I sat back down and tried to shrink into my seat not wanting to be noticed.

"This is about you and me"

"There is no you and me" I said quietly.

"I have you back into my life, Valentina. I'm not letting you go this easy"

"I'm not back in your life" I refused that to be an option. "And I promise that I will make this the last time you will see me"

He smirked slightly. "I've missed you"

Maybe I hadn't broken Joshua's walls at all. Maybe I'm just starting to figure out who he is.