Burning Sky // Alec Lightwood ➰

I'm not talking only about them.

My eyes shoot open in the dark room but I can't see anything around me. I can feel hands shaking me and I let out a cry, sitting straighter and moving towards the head of the bed, trying to escape whoever is here.

I hear movement, causing my throat to close, making it hard to breathe. When I feel the person approaching I flinch and cover my head with my hands.

"Sky. It's me."

It takes me long to realize that this voice is gentle, careful, and has nothing to do with the cold and threatening one that haunts my dreams. I slowly open my eyes, coming face to face with a pair of green ones.

My heartbeat returns to normal as I feel my shoulders relax. However a new panic starts within me as I remember my father holding his body in a dark room. My eyes land immediately on his neck, but he seems to be perfectly fine.

I let out a sigh of relief, and before I can stop myself I fall into his arms, clinging on him with all my force.

"Oh my god, Alec! You are...okay." I say and he doesn't answer but slowly hugs me back, tracing my back with his hands.

"Hey, I'm here." He breathes.

"I saw that dream, he was...he killed..." I start, my words coming out rushed, panicked.

I stop and take some breaths in.

"Who?" He asks me, now looking straight at my eyes.

You.

I lower my eyes, not admitting that out loud.

"N-nothing." I reply quietly, refusing to look at him.

I rest my gaze on my hands who are slightly shaking and tug them quickly under the blankets. If he noticed he doesn't comment on it.

"Sky, are you okay? You are shaking." He says after a while but my eyes don't find his.

"I know." I mumble and hear him sigh.

"Please, look at me." He says moving closer to me and I close my eyes tightly.

I'm freaking out right now. Big time. My hands are no longer the only thing that's shaking, my whole body seems to tremble.

He moves his hand and gently places it on my cheek.

"Please." He says one more time, pushing my head upward, making me to look at him. I close my eyes again, feeling the comfort of his touch. "Are you okay?" He asks me again and I shake my head confused.

"I guess...not...not really." I answer, moving my hair out of my face. He moves to sit next to me on the bed and I move closer to his body, wanting to feel his warmth.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me, whispering in the dark room.

I shake my head at him and sigh. "No, I just wanna to forget it. All of it." I say and he nods with an understanding.

After a few moments of silence he speaks up again.

"Did you see your father?" At his question I close my eyes tightly, wishing that all the images, all the flashbacks I'm having right now will go away. I can feel the scars on my abdomen burning and I forcefully stand up.

"I can't..." I start and he sits up too, worried.

My mind is spiraling, and I can feel the ground moving underneath me. Dizziness hits me and I collapse on the bed, burying my head in my legs.

"Sky...." Alec sounds scared, confused.

I try to regulate my breaths but my body doesn't seem to want to function normally. I use a technique my therapist taught me once. I count to ten and with each number I try to take a breath in. At first my lungs hurt but after a while I can feel myself relaxing. Alec reaches and takes a hold of my hand, causing me to lie on the bed beside him.

"You are okay." He whispers at me, causing my shoulders to relax.

"I'm here. You are not alone." He says again and places his other hand on my waist, pulling me towards him. I burry myself in his shoulder and he places his hand on the small of my back. The feeling at the pit of my stomach is foreign to me and I try to ignore it as he breaths down my neck. 

After a while, I move a little back and take a look up at him. He opens his eyes and looks down with a small smile.

"Hey." He says with a grumpy voice and my heart melts as I take him in. His hair is all over the place and he seems to have difficulty in keeping his eyes open. I fight the urge to move my hand to his hair.

"Hi." I reply after a suspicious amount of time.

He is so close to me that I can see every single detail of his face, I can count the small freckles that go all the way up his nose, making me want to trace them with my hand.

I breathe out a sigh.

"What's your biggest fear?" I ask all of a sudden, taking him by surprise.

"I...I don't know...failing everyone." He says, his voice small and his eyes don't meet mine.

"You haven't failed anyone." I whisper back and he sighs, examining my face.

" I have failed my parents." He objects, causing me to sit up a bit to look at him better.

"Stop. That's not true. If anything your parents failed you." I say and there is a moment of silence, I think he is going to protest but he doesn't. Instead he asks me about my biggest fear.

I think back to the dream I had, goosebumps form on my arms , causing him to bring me closer to him, thinking I'm cold.

"Losing the people I care about." I say after a while, my grey eyes wide with fear.

"Yeah. Well, I'm sure Adam and your mom will be fine. Don't worry." He says with a small smile and I take a moment to look at him.

"I'm not talking only about them." I answer back to which he takes in a sharp breath.

None of us knows what to say next so I just scoot closer to him and burry my head inside his shoulder, listening to his breath's steady rhythm as he falls asleep.