This is probably one of the only times luke's pov shows up so
Luke's POV
The empty space is killing me. The feeling of her back against my chest makes my heart pund but break. I remember the first time i held her body in my arms. I remember her being so fragile like a broken bird in my hands the day she came back.
Her eyes kept replaying in the back of my mind.
Her sad, broken, blue eyes. The way her eyelids flutter by the sound of a voice coming out of ones mouth.
It's like I dont fucking remember anything else but her. Bella.
The way her chapped pink lips curve as i tried to make her smile the weeks she was with me. The way her hair smelt like mine but with a slighy scent of; her. Fuck. I rub my eyes with my palms, my face heating up even more
She was fucking beautiful like always. I love her. I always will, and i promised her that. But did I have to fucking mess up this badly?
Sitting up from this rotting motel bed, i grab the liqour on the side table and take in whats left. It burns my throat but eases the pain that never seemed to get away.
Everything hurts. So fucking much.
My eyes burn from crying over her all the fucking damn time. My stomach can barely take it as i try to hold back all those tears. And my feels numb. Everything in this god damned world feels numb.
I tug on my hair as i pull out my cracked phone. The phone i've threw against the wall so many times. I look at her, Belle. the most rescent picture i've taken of her; how long has it been? Weeks? Months?
Different things pop in my head as i wonder what she could be doing. Is she happy that i fucking left her life? Happy with Michael and her god damned physco therapist?
My hands are shaking and my stomach aches. It hurts.
This pain; i cant understand anymore. The bottle in my hands are now a million shattered peices of glass on the ground then suddenly everything does too.
Lamps i throw around, the TV i push away from the table. Knocks from the door of the motel sound as people yelling too.
This isn't fucking heartbreak anymore. This is a living hell, and without her, there's no angel to save me from the fucking demons which are myself.
I grab a hoodie from the messy bed and put it on, not caring to leave my clothes behind; i grab my wallet and put my hood on. Quickly opening the door and making a run for it, shoving everyone else aside and running to the receptionist.
I open my wallet throwing her a few hundred bills which i never seem to run out of, and finally leave the chaotic mess i've made.
-
I look at my faded scars i once used to make them drip red so many times before. Seeing the the light purple brown it left behind. There has to be atleast a few dozen on both. "Everyone has wounds that don't seem to heal" I recall Belle saying to me once.
How i caught her cutting aftter her dad left and i plead for her to stop. I remember it; clear as day. when she looked right into my eyes. As hers blurred, make-up smeared on her face, and her lips making the weakest of all smiles.
"Everyone has wounds that don't seem to heal" she said to me, i waas too stunned and hurt by what she was doing that i didnt even take a minute to let that sink in. But now i do.
Even if we're both over, i know. There's a part of me that can never, never forgive myself for letting her go.
"he's just using her"
"Poor lass"
"Luke hemmings is nothing but a heartless bastard."
cha[ter continues! lol ilyasm
