Angel Valhalla

Thirty-seven

Note:

(Sorry for the late update. I started this chapter last week, but half way through the chapter I found out my boyfriend of almost 2 years cheated on me and ever since I've been really upset and depressed so I found it hard to get back to writing it.) ps. i might write a little book on my experiences w my bf.  like a lil journal type of thing. i don't think it'll be boring considering hes a narcissistic douchebag.lmk if you gus wold be down for that.

Hi everyone! Okay first off, I started this story when I was like 15 so now I went back and changed some stuff cuz ( lmao) some stuff I was writing was too cheesy, and unrealistic. I don't know if you guys have read the updated version, but I've tried my best to fix my grammar and writing and plot and whatever needed fixing. Anyways, I'm 22 now. Crazy! I didn't think this book would get as much attention as it's getting, which isn't a lot but to me it's fucking cool that people read my stuff and like it. Anyways, thank you for all the cool comments, votes and reads. I hope you like this chapter seeing as it's coming to an end. I'm not sure if I will make a sequel, yet but I'll keep you all updated on my page! Again, thank you for dealing with my slow ass updates. So much has happened in those seven years and now I have experienced almost everything Lilith has experienced (lmao minus the getting kid napped by a criminal part) it's so crazy to read back and see how my mind worked back then and how I thought teenagers were like, hehe. Anyways, again thank you! 💘 love you ! x

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"Mom, I look ridiculous!" I said as I spun around and showed her how ugly the dress I wore was. It wasn't of my taste. This whole wedding wasn't.

"Lilith, you look beautiful, don't be stupid."

"You're only saying that cuz you know this is something his mother would approve of and he's filthy rich."

My mom took a sip of her drink and made a small shrug that I could only read as her admitting to it.

"I just barely graduated Mom, we don't need this. You don't need this! I have a good job, I can help you out."

"Lilith, this isn't about me sweetie." She grabbed me by the shoulders and stared me deep in the eyes. Her blue eyes suddenly serious," This is about the both of us! Do you like living in the house we live in?! Driving the cars we drive?! We'll have to get rid of it all, even Maria. Your dad won't give us another penny. If you want to keep living the life we are used to, you need to do this. Not just for you hunny, but for the both of us! For Maria too. Besides, he's handsome. He'll be good to you, trust me mother knows best."

Mother knows best. That's all she's been saying for the past five months. I still felt on the edge about this whole thing. I felt so freaking lost still. This was ridiculous, I thought I would grow out of it, this uncertainty. Why couldn't I just say no. I wish I could, but for once my mom looked at me like I was important to her. Like I mattered. I didn't want to let her down...

But I wanted to hold on. Hold on to the true me. The me that was promised a forever.

I wanted to be brave, to walk away. But uncertainty scared me. To walk away from what could be and okay life for something that seems like an illusion at this point. A dream. Only in my wildest dreams did I allow myself to dream about it. About what could be. I wanted to hold on, be brave and have faith.

I missed him.

Back then I was so in love. Still was, but it was a sad love I felt now. Two years later and I feel like it was an acid trip. Everything that happened between us was so surreal. And now it was nothing but memories in the back of my mind. The only proof of his existence was the ring I wore on small chain around my neck.

He had said to wait for him, and I have been. For two years. But life was crushing around me and squeezing me towards a different fate. I fate I didn't want to be apart of. But with no sign of him my hope was crumbling and I was left with nothing but a ghostly memory to hold on to and the cruel reality so solid and real around me.

"Okay, this dress it is." I mumbled turning around and facing the mirror.

"I'm glad you like it, it's very lovely on you, and will be even more once I adjust it to fit your body. I just need your measurements. Hold still." The tailor replied and got to work.

i don't know if this was the right choice, and i don't know if ill hate myself forever or not, but i know  that my mothers and i situation is very real. and the lack of faith in my life these days had me thinking that maybe this was as good as it ever was gonna get. maybe i wasn't supposed to have a happy ending or ever live out my ideal life. maybe no one got a happy ending in real life. maybe it was just in the books and movies where everything worked out in the end. and maybe, just maybe my life was destined to be doomed. Lilith gray...was never meant to be happy.

i sighed  "you're right, his mother is going to love this dress. "

***

all  the boys i had ever dated had, had that one same quality that attracted me to them.  it was that look in their eyes.  There was a sense of life in them. Something that spoke to me and pulled me in.  Nate's green eyes illuminated with curiosity, life and danger...His eyes had a royal blue that showed strength, a deep love, and hurt.  And Nick...Nicks eyes didn't have any of that. His were a brown stern set of empty eyes and that was about it. Lifeless.

"That dress is too short." Nick snapped at me from across the room as his eyes tore away from my dress and scanned the Rolex watch on his wrist for the time.

I bit back some harsh words and looked down at my dress. It was a bit short but i thought it had fit me modestly. "You're right, I'll be right back." I murmured and hurried off to our bedroom. I was already living with this monster. For the past two months. And they had been nothing but pleasant. At first glance nick is handsome and charming and young and successful. But then you get to know him and realize he's a manipulative, dominant, narcissistic, cocky asshole. He gave me no say in anything in this relationship. He wore the pants and he made sure I knew it. From telling me what to wear, making sure I didn't lose my figure, and sometimes even what to eat. He had no filter, and talked down to anyone that didn't make more than him. He was also cold. I felt no love or affection from him. Sometimes I stayed up late at night looking up at the ceiling wondering why he was going through with this if he clearly didn't like me. He never came on to me or kissed me. What was he getting out of this? Our parents were good friends. I had met Nick several years ago when I was thirteen. He had been fifteen. I remember the cute brown eyed boy with tousled hair and rebellious eyes in his school uniform. I remember trying to talk to him while our parents went about talking about who knows what at the dinner table. I only saw him two times after that before he got sent to boarding school.

Fast forward to now and he's my fiancée.
Funny. I never pictured my life would end up like this.

i don't know why nick was so mean to me? what was he getting out of this? why marry me if he despised me so much? whatever the case, gossip blogs and celebrity magazines loved all of this. they were all over it. nick was a huge socialite and heir to his dad's billion dollar software company. it was all over the tabloids, most desirable bachelor was off the market and "engaged to young hot daughter of socialite anna olive rose" aka my mom and aka me.

we got in the car and drove in silence.

i wonder if he knew.

...

sorry it took so long. next chapter will be out soon. lmk your thoughts and comments! luv u.