Acquaintances

Chapter 19: I would never.

White walls, dodgy old curtains, the smell of disinfectant and the sound of machines was all that stimulated my sense for the next hour or so as I sat and stared at him. The tears had eventually subsided, my mind had eventually stopped trying to find answers and all that was left inside of me was my heart pleading for him to be okay.

There was one scare in the hour I’d been sitting here. His fever had spiked, his heart beat dropped to an abnormal beating and there was crash carts, hurried movements, me being rushed out of the room, and frantic nurses everywhere. But he was fine.

So much for being ‘stable.’

I was told he was stable again now, but it’s still a matter of time till he wakes up from sedation.

I want to know what’s going through his mind right now. Can he think? Can he feel? Surely if he could feel any of the pain I’m going through he would sit up right now and tell me he’s fine. Tell me that even though he overdosed, it wasn’t suicide or it wasn’t a result of his addiction reforming, it was just a one off, he’ll never do it again and he’s perfectly happy.

I haven’t heard from Harry since he called, and I pick up Louis phone to text him, but when I open messages I’m too intrigued by one of the top threads. ‘El.’

I scroll up to the start of the most recent messages from a couple of days ago, knowing I shouldn’t be reading this.

Eleanor: We should meet up, I miss you.

Bitch.

Louis: Seriously?

Eleanor: Yeah, Lou we were together for so long and I don’t understand how you could throw that away so quickly.

Louis: You threw it away, not me. And then you fucked up the one good thing I had going after you broke my heart. We’re so unbelievably done I don’t know how you haven’t gotten this yet.

Eleanor: God, sorry for trying. I guess those 3 years meant absolutely nothing to you.

He didn’t reply to the last message, thank god. Part of me is so relieved by his messages to her, that could have been make or break for our friendship. There’s no way I would spend time with him even just as friends if he had anything to do with her. Why am I even thinking about this now? He can’t even breathe on his own without a machine helping him, and here I am reading his messages to his ex. God Lola, new low.

“Hey.” I jump in my seat, locking his phone and putting it back in my pocket subtly as I look up at the person standing in front of me, a messy mop of brown curls is the first thing I see and I stand up out of the seat throwing my arms around him and resting my head against his chest as the tears return to my eyes. I’m so happy to see a familiar face, and his arms wrapping around me is so comforting I can’t stop the tears from falling against and staining his white shirt.

“He’s going to be okay, Char.” Harry coos, his hand running up and down my back.
“You don’t know that.” I sob.

“Yes I do, he’s going to be fine.” Harry’s voice is so calming to me, but I don’t think anything could really calm me after these horrible few hours. “I would’ve been here sooner, but I didn’t want to draw attention to the hospital before I could talk to management and get security set up.”
“Thanks.”
“Do we know what happened? Like really?” He asks.

“Definitely cocaine, but I don’t know how much…or why. Why?” I repeat, I’m aware at how much I’m shaking, despite Harry’s arms holding me in place.

“You’re in shock. How did you find him?”
“We were meant to go to bungee jumping this morning, and I went to pick him up, and he was just…he wasn’t breathing.” I sniffle, my voice cracking as I rehash the details. It keeps replaying in my head, like it’s happening all over again, but at the same time it feels like years ago.