Acquaintances

Chapter 8: Holmes Chapel

A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented on the Author’s note, it means so much to me and has encouraged my writing like you wouldn’t even believe. I am really happy with this chapter (especially the end bit) and I hope you love it as much as I do. I went out last night and got a little drunk and I always have my best ideas under the influence, so I’m feeling a lot more excited about writing this. I guess I was just feeling discouraged because my chapters hadn’t been getting as many votes or comments as they previously were, and I thought that was a sign people didn’t like it. When I was out last night, they were playing BSE and my friend was like talking to me about her boyfriend issues and I was watching the video clip to BSE in the reflection behind her and not listening at all because I’m such a great friend ;) Anyway, please please comment and vote as you read xxx

“I don’t think last night should happen again.” I croak, my voice tired with sleep as I stretch out my tired muscles, sinking further into the mattress.

“Agreed. But why?”
“I don’t want to be as bad as them. Sleeping with you and not telling them is like…it’s something Harry would do to me and I refuse to sink to his level. I don’t really want to be that girl. Like, obviously we’re both single and we don’t have anything to feel guilty about, but I still kind of do?” There’s a heavy feeling resting on my chest, and this is the only thing I can pinpoint it to.

“Yeah. It was fun, but I feel guilty too. They are so…trapped in your world that if they knew it was so easy for me to casually have sex with you, while they’re desperately trying to win you back, I think they would hate me.” He shrugs, sitting up.

“Yeah that wouldn’t surprise me. I hate that they have this fucking hold on me that I can’t even do friends with benefits without feeling guilty.” I groan, getting out of bed to get changed.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty fucked situation. Like even after all that time apart, I don’t think much has actually changed.” Niall shrugs, pulling a clean shirt out of his bag and throwing it on.

“I know, it’s so fucked like I just want to meet someone new and forget about both of them but I can’t see that happening because every time I do something, they are somehow involved.” I sigh, fishing out my black jeans and a khaki jumper.

“But what’s the point in finding someone new, if you’re just going to end up with one of them?”

“Because I don’t want to end up with someone who’s hurt me, I want someone new who I can trust because they have a clean slate with me and I don’t have to question everything they do. I just, at this stage I just can’t see myself ever fully trusting Harry or Louis.”

“Then why do you want to be friends with them?” Niall asks.

God he makes my brain work overtime with his questions like this.

“Because…I don’t know, because I still want them in my life? I know that’s insane but Harry was such a huge part of my life for all those years, and Louis…Louis is Louis, I just, I know he cheated on me, but I feel like I trust him more than Harry, and if I give Harry the chance of being my friend, then I feel like Louis should get the same.” I explain, realising how ridiculous my reasoning actually is.

“Well, I guess that’s fine, but don’t give them any false hope that after your year of being single that you’re going to end up with one of them.” Niall says cautiously and I nod.

“I know.” I do know, but I feel like I’ve already given both of them false hope.

“I think I’m gonna head  back to London today, so you can have some proper time with your family.” I tell him, picking up my bag.