20: man to Man

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Simone Smith

I laid in my hospital bed, staring down at the beautiful chocolate boy that laid in my arms against my chest. I looked up to the ceiling, trying my best to fight my tears. To know that I was here, and had to do this alone was something I never thought I would have to go through. Although my labour and delivery was faster than normal, I felt every single minute of it and watched the clock go by the whole time, just waiting and waiting for somebody, anybody to show up.

I had made a numerous amount of calls to Alonzo, and Isaiah but unfortunately, no one answered nor did they show up. I laid right here... alone, and it sucked because I was so used to being alone. Without family to cheer on my successes, or a solid man to hold my hand, not even a friend to turn to in the time of trouble.

I wiped away my tears and sighed. I relaxed and ran my fingers through my baby boy's hair as the door to my room opened up and my nurse made her way inside with a clipboard. "Hello mommy. How's it going so far?"

"It's going good!" I said, flashing her a fake smile.

"And did you wanna try feeding him now?"

"I tried but he wouldn't latch."

"Oh, we've got a lazy boy?" She joked. "I know you have the medical history for this but I just want to make sure that he gets enough to eat; especially with him just being born."

"You're right. I guess I can try again." She lifted him off of my chest, allowing me to unclip my cursing bra, once I was done she placed the baby against my chest, working with my body in order to get him to latch on and surprisingly, this time; he did.

"Look at that!" she sang, "good boy."

"Yes, he is." Him latching on, watch quite uncomfortable and it was a bit painful but I had known about all of this prior, and wasn't expecting anything less.

"Have you thought of any names?" she asked, picking up her clipboard again and resting it against her hip.

"Yes, I want to name him... Sire Matthew Sm-."

"Wilson." I heard from the door as it opened, and shut behind the familiar face that came holding a bundle of flowers, a balloon and a huge teddy bear. "Is that my boy?" Isaiah said, making his way around the room, placing his things down in the process. "Look at him. He's so big."

I narrowed my brows and it was as if the nurse felt the tension in the room, "I could come back, if you'd like." She suggested.

"Yes please," I said, without taking my eyes off of Isaiah. I waited for the door to shut before I spoke. "Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry baby, I really am... there was just so much going on and I needed to clear my head."

"You needed to clear your head on the day that your wife went into labour with your child?"

"Simone, let's not."

"Let's not do what?"

"Let's not pretend anymore. I know, the secret is out. As much as I want it to be; I know that he is Alonzo's." Isaiah spoke and his words cut through me like knives... How did he find out? "That's why being here was hard for me, I drove around for hours trying to forget about all of this, trying to act as if I didn't want to be here. Learning that you were creeping around on me, made me want to throw in the towel so badly Simone."

"How did you find out?"

"You told me..." he said, "maybe not verbally but your actions, the way you spoke, the things you did; were all indicators."

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