Breakeven

Chapter 35

"Fuck Kay, you look like shit" Mark said as he came into Adam's room.

"Thanks very much Mark, always nice to have a compliment" I laughed as I hugged him.

"I just thought I should pop in and see if there's anything you need" He said, looking uncomfortable.

"You've spoke to Danny?" I asked, sensing that there was more to Marks visit than seeing if I needed anything. I hadn't seen him for the last 2 days, since I told Danny to go.

Mark nodded his head, thoughtfully choosing his words. "He's in bits Kay, I'm sorry I've not been in to see you for a few days but Danny's been really ill, I've never seen anything like it."

"Withdrawal?" I asked, hoping that Mark had been helping Danny to get clean.

He nodded. "He's starting to look a bit better but he's not right." Mark said to me.

I was so proud that Danny had decided to get himself clean again, and so glad to hear that he did have some support even if I couldn't be there for him.

"Is it really over?" he asked carefully.

"It has to be" I replied, tears welling in my eyes as I said it.

Marks arms wrapped around me and pulled me into his chest.

"Mark don't" I said as I pushed out of his arms. "I can't think about it, let's just go down to the café and get some lunch."

Mark looked at me with a strange glint in his eye. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm learning that I have to take time out for me so me and Adam have a little routine organised so that I can have some me time as well as looking after him." I said feeling quite proud of myself that I had finally found a balance.

Mark and I walked down to the café and ordered lunch. We sat at a table in the corner of the dining area.

"I spoke to Glen yesterday" Mark suddenly blurted out, I think he realised that I needed a change of conversation.

"How's he doing?" I asked with a slight pang of guilt that I hadn't thought about him in a while.

"Really good" Mark said with a warm smile. "I think going to the states was exactly what he needed, and he's had his checks at the end of the treatment and the doctors reckon they've got the whole tumour out."

"That's great news" I said with a true feeling of happiness.

"Yeah, and with a bit of luck we'll get back out next year" he said hopefully.

"I'm glad it's all coming good again, I'll try to ring Glen later if I can."

"He'd like that." Mark told me before pausing uncomfortably, "And what about Danny?" he asked.

"Mark, I can't." I told him, "I get that you're watching your best friend go through hell but just know that I've not got it easy either. I can't take back what I said to him, I need to just focus on the kids. The girls are coming home in 2 days. I need stability."

"Can he come in here?" Mark asked.

"I'd rather he didn't come in alone, Catherine is still going on at me about keeping him away, but I have never, and will never stop him from seeing the kids." I said, slightly interrupted by Mark's phone ringing.

He took his phone from his pocket and checked the screen, I saw that it was Danny ringing him, but he rejected the call before pushing his phone back in his pocket.

"Sorry Kay, I'm going to have to go." He said as he started to put his coat back on.

"Mark" I called after him as he started to walk away, he turned to face me. "Tell Danny that I....." I drifted off realising what I was about to say. ".... It doesn't matter" I said as I sat back down.

Mark nodded knowingly, obviously realising the words that almost came from my mouth. "See you soon" he said before he turned and left the café.

I finished my lunch and headed back to Adam. Thoughts of Danny had consumed me and I was glad that I had established my routine with Adam to keep me busy. I read a few more chapters of our book to him while he slept, Liam said that as the sedation of Adam is reduced he is more likely to be able to hear what's going on around him so every afternoon I read our book, in the hope that it will soothe him to know that I'm there.

Liam is hopeful that Adam will wake up tomorrow, I don't really understand how he knows that but I trust him, and he's the expert so I can only hope so too.