Breakeven

Chapter 23

Over the next few days I went through the biggest roller-coaster of emotions. I tried really hard to trust Danny more, realising that he may have made a stupid mistake but I was going to ruin this relationship if I didn't stop my constant checking on him when he has proven, time and time again, that he can be trusted. I'm not sure I even want to go away now, but the girls are really looking forward to it and Adam keeps telling me that he'll miss me but it will be nice to have some time 'just the boys' so I guess I'll go for a few days.

I had finished packing our things and the suitcases were waiting by the front door. Danny was getting the girls ready while I was spending some quality time with Adam.

"We're ready to go Mummy" Alleysha shouted as she ran downstairs.

"Come and give me a hug" I said to Adam, he immediately came over to me and flung his arms around my neck. I held him really tight and to be honest, didn't want to let go.

"You be good for your Dad" I told him as I kissed his cheek and pulled away before my tears spilled over.

"I will Mum" he said as his arms slipped from my neck.

Danny poked his head around the door, "Kay" he said before walking away into the other room, I followed him with curiosity.

"So, I got you this" he said as he handed me a small box. I opened the box and saw inside 2 key rings, shaped into jigsaw pieces which fitted together. Each one said 'you complete me'.

"What's this for?" I asked Danny.

"Well, you always get me a gift just before I leave to go on tour to remind me of you and the kids while I'm gone. "I wanted to do the same for you." he said with a smile.

I took one of the key rings out of the box and handed it to Danny. "Well, I guess this is yours then?" I said. As he took the key ring from my hand he pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm really going to miss you" he told me as he held me in his arms.

"I'm going to miss you too" I said as tears filled my eyes again. I took a deep breath. "I can't do the long goodbye Danny, I'll see you soon." I reached up and pecked his lips before walking away.

"Go and say goodbye to Dad then" I said to the girls who were all ready to leave.

Danny hugged and kissed the three girls in turn and then said "Skype at 8 remember"

"Every night Dad, I love you" Jessica replied.

I watched Danny with the girls, the bond that they had was so beautiful. He was an amazing father, it was like I was seeing these things for the first time in weeks. Why was I going?

"Come on Mum, the taxi's here" Jessica pulled me from my thoughts and without any more hesitation I left the house, got into the taxi and was headed to the airport. I distracted myself chatting with the girls and making sure that they were OK but all I could think about was Danny, all I wanted was Danny.

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"Uncle Steven" Jessica yelled as we came through arrivals and she ran to meet him.

I followed behind with Keira balanced on my hip as I tried to manoeuvre our suitcase whilst encouraging Alleysha to walk close to me.

"How was your flight?" Steven asked as he took the suitcase from me.

"It was fine" I replied as we headed out to the car.

"No Adam?" He asked me.

"No, he's stayed in London with Danny for some boys' time" I laughed.

"So where are you going first? Mum's desperate to see you"

"Steven, I just want to get home, I'll go and see mum once I'm sorted there."

"Give her a call and let her know then Kay"

I rang my mum and told her that we would come over at around 5pm.  She was fine with this and said that she would make dinner for us which was a relief as obviously there is no food at our house.

Steven dropped me off at home and after helping me in with my bags he left me and the girls to settle in.

Jessica ran upstairs and shortly afterwards shouted "Mum, do I have to share a room with Alleysha?"

This is the only problem we ever have when I bring the kids to see my mum, me and Danny have never bought a bigger house here, there has never really been a need for it because we don't spend that much time here. So, we've still got the little 3 bedroomed terraced house that I called home before I met Danny. I like it because it feels familiar and comfortable but Jessica hates that she has to share a bedroom with Alleysha.

"Well it's that or sleep in Adams room" I shouted back.

"Mummy I don't want to sleep in that bedroom on my own" Alleysha said, looking like she was about to cry.

"Why not darling? You sleep in a bedroom on your own at home?" I questioned.

"But when we come here, I share with Jessica" she told me

"I know you do honey, but she'll only be in the next room" I tried to reason with her.

"But it won't be the same" she told me as a huge tear trickled down her face.

I lifted her up and kissed her gently, "Why don't you try sleeping in that bedroom yourself and if you don't like it you can come and share with me?" I told her, I always try not to let the kids into our bed just to keep their routine but I just didn't want the hassle right now. My suggestion cheered Alleysha right up and she went upstairs to tell Jessica that she wouldn't have to sleep alone.

I went to unpack, wondering why I had believed that this was a good idea. I missed Adam, and I missed Danny. Why had I split my family up? What was I achieving?

I decided to call Danny, and for the first time in a long time, it wasn't to check up on him.

"Hi Kay, we're just at the park playing football, how are you?" He answered

"I miss you" I told him, the only thing I had called to say.

"Kay you've only been gone a few hours, go and have fun with the girls, we'll have a catch up tonight." Danny said as I heard Adam in the background hurrying him along with the phone call.

"OK, sorry to disturb you, I love you" I said, a little disappointed that the conversation hadn't gone the way I had hoped.

"I love you too" he said "And Kay..." he paused, checking I was still on the line.

"Yeah?"

"...I missed you the second the door closed."

I smirked to myself as I hung the phone up. Maybe coming away was the right thing to do, it's shown me one thing, I'm lost without Danny.