Heaven Knows

22.5: Anna

Heaven Knows OST: ♫ Everytime by Britney Spears♫

Chapter 22.5: Anna

Dear Diary,

He had the most beautiful eyes. The kind you could get lost in and I guess I did. I could watch him for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about him.

I found a boy, who I love… and I will love forever. A boy who gave me something worth remembering. A love so true it’s never ending. And now that I’ve spent a great deal of time with him, it’s getting hard to let go of the memories, of the days, of the love, of the kisses… of him.

It felt like experiencing another accident and dying twice.

A paper plane flew in front of me and it landed on the first staircase of the front porch, just beside me where I sat. I took the plane in my hands, testing its weight. I opened it to unravel the message inside.

 

There is a road from the eye to the heart that does not go through the intellect.

(Quoted by G.K Chesterton)

So…

Don’t fret. I won’t let you forget.

~Dom

I looked up to find the plane’s pilot lurking a few meters from me. He motioned another paper plane in the afternoon air and he let it fly to me. This time, it made a perfect landing strip on my lap.

No one belongs here more than you.

(Quoted by Miranda July)

 

I WILL LOVE YOU

UNTIL THE WORLD STOPS

AND FORGETS

TO REVOLVE AROUND THE SUN, Anna Marie Heaven.

With infinite without waxes,

Dominic Savio

I smiled up at him. “I feel a deep regard towards you too.”

He gave me that shy, school boy kind of smile as he made his way towards me. His smile made me realize how young our love truly was.

“How’s your head?” he asked.

I sighed as I closed my notebook and I stood up. “It’s fine. But, when we’re together—I forget the rest.”

He outstretched his hand towards me and I reached for it. “Then forget the world except me. How do you feel about a ferry ride?”

Who doesn’t want a ferry ride? Before I lose track of time, I was already riding the ferryboat along side with him. Dominic was inexorable. I believe nothing could be more “hard-boiled” headed than him.

We both watched the people as they get on with their lives—thinking if they would ever care, if they would ever notice, if they would ever know, if they would ever stop and look at two young people who’s time being measured by a thin line of time.

“I remember some of the sweet things you said to me.” I said as we both danced in the slow rhythm of the setting sun.

“I love you is the most promising one. It keeps me up at night.”

I felt his smile on my cheek as his lips sent prickles to my ear. “I know. I am that irresistible.”

I looked up at him. Careful enough to save a parchment of blue in his eyes. I tucked its color inside my heart.

“Even when we can’t be together for a lifetime at least I’m happy we get to spend time together. It’s not long enough but a day is a satisfaction if I get to be with you.”

He smiled down at me. That kind of smile that could both melt and warm my heart.

“I loved you from the very first day, Anna.” he admitted. He closed his eyes as he leaned his forehead to mine. He then dropped a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. I tilted my head, my lips wanted to get a taste of his lips too. Smiling, his lips reached for them.

“I believe that one day, the sky will open and the stars will fall down like tear drops and they will glitter in the fumes of the wind like ectoplasm to mirror.”

We both stared at the horizon. The clouds were painted with blue, purple, pink and orange as the sun sets into the vast waters.

“…and there you’ll be.” He whispered to me.

I turned my head so that my forehead was leaning on his nose. I felt his breath on my skin and his smile in my heart.

“I really don’t get fairytales.” I told him as my eyes longed for the blue of his. “They’re so irrelevant. I think there are some stories worth telling. You and I would be worth listening.”

“Ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened?” he asked. “If it weren’t for that blasted coin… I might not have found you. That coin started our story.”

He let out a brittle laugh. “It turns out the coin wasn’t so blasted after all.”

 “If I wasn’t lost you might not have found me.” I countered and he just simpered at me.

“Years from now, I hope we’re still in each other’s lives.”

I giggled. “I think you’re suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.” I placed a hand on top of his chest and I felt his heart beating for me. “And though I’ll leave you, I will be right here… I’ll be with you.”

He took a deep breath as he blinked a couple of times away from me.

“I can’t do this right now, Anna. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. Don’t say goodbye yet.”

“Ditto with the goodbye thing.” I said as I lamented. “We started with a simple hello, but we’re ending with a complicated goodbye.”

I watched our bodies stop swaying and I looked up to see the city lights ahead of us, waiting for us to dock.

“I’m sorry if I had to push you away, Dom.” I said. “I guess it’s the most stupid decision I’ve ever made.”

He narrowed his eyes at me playfully. “Do that again and I’ll jump off this ferry.”

“It’s not that deep,” I prompted.

He raised a challenging eyebrow at me. “Do you want me to find out?”

I poked his shoulder. “I still need a reason to stay alive tonight. Don’t distract me.”

His snarky behavior faded with the wind. “If you need a reason to stay alive tonight, this is it.” he outstretched his arms out wide to present himself.

I chuckled. “Sometimes I want to know what’s going on your mind.”

He huffed. “Let me see… well, there’s you and you and then you and lastly you.” His eyes leveled with mine heavily and I drowned myself in its blueness. “Only you.”

“If I leave now will you miss me, Dom?” My eyebrows went up with the question.

The ferry stopped and the silence wrapped around us.

“Every day of my life, Anna.”

Aristotle did say that the memory is the scribe of the soul.

A memory visited my heart. It spoke the same words written in a familiar story inside my head. They usually vanish so fast like a passing dream—like a paper carried by the wind. But today was different. Today I’ve let myself remember and smile.

And as I closed my eyes to sleep, I dreamt of him again and again and again and again…

Without Wax,

Anna