Heaven Knows

12: Dominic

Heaven Knows OST: ♫ If you’re not the one by Daniel Bedingfield ♫

Chapter 12: Dominic

They say when you’re scared it helps if you let it go with a shout. Let it go and let it be with the wind so that it will take all that suffocates you. By shouting, you release endorphins. The more you shout, the more endorphins you let go of—the lesser your fear.

But I was trapped in my own cowardice that I refused to break. Fear consumes a human body just like hurt. It’s poison and yet at the same time it’s a sedative. We humans are too naïve and we keep on living with the pain. But usually, it’s the mind that gets angry and not the heart. Because the heart still cares—it always will. And yet, it’s not the heart to blame when we’re in pain. It’s the brain that decides on everything. Because every action we make has been decided by our brain. The heart is just foolish enough to follow. Just two ironic parts of the body that cannot work together without complicating a human life. That’s how fears and pains start.

 I found myself wondering around the school corridors like a ghost. An imbalance between the universe and human life. But my hands could only take the piano that spoke of the words I could not make. Long enough I realized I wasn’t alone in the piano room when I saw Rose Garner keeping me in secret company.

“I’m sorry.” She said as she took a shy step back from the door. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I know I’m not supposed to be here but I heard you playing and…”

I didn’t make her finish when I looked away from her and down at my hands lying on top of the piano keys—suspended.

She might have been one of the prettiest girls here in school. I might have even liked her if my heart wasn’t owned. But there’s only Anna and no one else. I knew then, at that moment, I had the answer to her question. That I can love her despite the fact that I will lose her.

“I knew someone used to play the same song.” She said as she invited herself in. She crossed the room to where I was.

Her red hair glowed like embers from the sunlight that hit the nearby window.

She smiled down at me. “Where do I begin by Francis Lai, right?”

I nodded.

She sighed and she looked down at her shoes. “I know you’re with Anna.”

With the sound of her name, my heart contrasted.

“She used to play that most of the time when we were little.” She continued as she looked back at me. “Back when we were still friends.”

I almost scoffed at her.

She rolled her eyes skyward. “I know it’s hard to believe. But we were until… until she took off. I bet she did the same to you.” she blew her fringe off of her eyes. “She’s kind of making it a habit now.”

I let my hands fall down to my lap. “Did you come here to mock me, Anna or yourself?”

She shook her head in defense. “She never told me she was sick. I found out myself.”

I know it was hard to believe her. She’s Rose Garner, one of the most popular girls in school. She confessed that she was BFFs with my Anna. My Anna, my piece of distorted Heaven who doesn’t want to get involved with anybody. Yeah, it was very hard to believe Rose. But then I saw the same sadness I have reflected in her eyes. The same fear I held and I’ve been trying to hide within me. She felt betrayed just as I did and she still cares for Anna just as I do.

“I know I don’t have the right to tell you this, but please don’t leave Anna. She’s gonna need you more than she knows.” She said. Her eyes glittered with that plea.