Heaven Knows OST: ♫ I need you by M83 ♫
Chapter 20.5: Anna
Dear Diary,
My Dominic was leaving for Julliard.
I didn’t know why I felt so selfish about it. Like I didn’t want to share him with anyone else.
He’s leaving earlier this summer. It’ll be four months away but the thought of him leaving me scared me a lot.
I know it’s selfish of me wanting him only for myself. But he is mine. I have every right to have him. Julliard’s important to him. Yes, I know. But what about me? Am I not important to him too?
Why does this feeling eating me up, diary? Wasn’t his love enough to keep me alive than remember? Am I being too greedy? It felt like his very existence was connected to me and the moment he leaves I’d be left like a cell phone without a charger.
Time: the most expensive thing in the whole world that money can’t buy. It’s too expensive that I could not have it. I could not buy it as much as I wanted it too.
I had to write down that I sighed. I could not cry because I was saving them for a better cause and the right time to shed them.
I’ve waited for Dominic at the front porch today. I guess my paranoia had brought me to thinking that he’d leave me without even saying goodbye. I was out of my mind—literally and physically speaking.
When he appeared on the sidewalk I could not contain my own relief. I ran up to him immediately and I locked him in the circle of my embrace.
“Anna, I can’t breathe.” he said through his strangled voice. I strangled him one last time before releasing him.
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
He smirked at me. “You missed me?”
“Every second.” I prompted.
He eyed me suspiciously. I pulled out my diary and I opened it to the calendar page. I slid my pen inside to mark it and I handed it to him. He looked up at me in question.
“What for?”
“I want you to put an “x” on the date you are leaving.” I said and his eyebrows creased out of irritation. He handed me back my diary.
“What’s this about?” his tone was almost livid. It made my heart sunk in blood.
I took a deep breath as I tuck some of my hair behind my ear. “Can you just please do it? I’m not even done yet. I’ll explain to you later. I promise.”
With a sigh he reluctantly opened my diary and his hand moved down to the month of June. Then he placed an “x” on the 17th. My heart transformed into a pincushion. Pins were wracking me everywhere.
He handed me back my diary but I placed a hand on its edge to stop him.
“Now, put an “x” on the 15th of August.”
He gave me a tentative look before obliging.
“What’s this “x” for?” he asked after he marked the date.
“It’s my deadline.” I said.
He looked up at me. Pools of ice froze him in place and my diary trembled in his grasp. His mouth opened to say silent words I could not hear. Slowly my heart cracked right at the center and water filled my lungs—it was hard to breathe. Even a piece of “I love you” could not take the pain.
A tear found its way down my cheek. “It’s the farthest my life could go.”
He looked away as his tears fell. I wished that I could lessen the hurt that he’s feeling. I wished that I wasn’t the reason for his tears to shed. I wished that I could just love him without setting any consequences. It was not only in the movies that people cry and get hurt. In real life, the pain never ends.
“Tell me it’s not true.” He said.
I shook my head. “It’s the longest I could be with you.”
Our minds are very powerful things. When we fill it with positive thoughts, our life changes. Delete your memories and your world changes. Involve your heart and you get damaged.
Without Wax,
Anna
YOU ARE READING
Heaven Knows
Teen Fiction❝ Sometimes, life gives us a story we've never been told before. And sometimes, it's a story we don't know how to start and a story that we don't want to end. ❞ Dominic Savio is a name you will usually find in a saint's handbook. Overflowed with wha...
