Heaven Knows

21: Dominic

Heaven Knows OST: ♫ Like a Knife by Secondhand Serenade ♫

Chapter 21: Dominic

I’ve been terrorized by MATH Syndrome. Mental Abuse To Humans Syndrome. So my heart took me in. And look; now it’s poorly contaminated with so much pain.

Sometimes when I’m reminding Anna I’ve thought if she ever wanted to be reminded of me. I’ve thought if she did, will she smile at the memory or cry. I didn’t want to think that I was being played at. I just wanted to be happy but it cost too much. Anna was the price to pay.

I wanted to tell my parents that I don’t want to go to Julliard. I wanted to tell them that I wanted to be with Anna—that going would mean I’d get lesser months to help her remember me. I wanted to tell them that I don’t want to break my promise to her.

But the moment I tried, I caught them talking about my future. They’ve been blabbering about it like proud parents—which they are. It was our dream to get into a prestigious music school like Julliard. It was a once in a life time offer. It was not only their dream, but it was also mine. Anna’s my YOLO kind of girl and like my dream; it’s hard to let her go.

As I paid more attention, I realized that it was all a different world to me like stepping into a different dimension. But I stepped out of it. I wandered around, I got lost but I found Anna. If I return to that old world of mine that would mean I will have to leave Anna behind. Everything about her will be lost. My future as my parents had talked about was all about the dream—the music—me. There was no Anna.

I went back to my room thinking about it. A future without Anna was like being lost in a maze. I was afraid of the outcome. I might not survive. If I let her go I would surely regret it. If I don’t, I’d lose everything I’ve worked hard for years. Before I could even formulate an answer to any of my questions, sweet stupor beckoned.

***

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain had said. I just can’t find the why inside my friggin’ head.

Was I born to be a musician or was I born for Anna? Stupid, stupid brain. Poor aching heart. My post apocalyptic love life.

My parents hosted a party for me which I didn’t like at all. I was wearing a goody-goody suit, more fine than the one I wore on my recital and a masked of unrecognizable me facing the whole neighborhood with their cheers and congratulations.

But all I wanted was to be with Anna.

She came just in time before I lose my sanity.

She was in a beautiful white dress designed with intricate shapes at the front. It made my heart bounce like a ball.

“I’m glad you made it.” I kissed her cheek.

 “Well, I should.” She pouted her lips at me. “I don’t want too much pressure inside my head thinking about you the whole day. It could cause a severe headache or worse, a seizure.” She narrowed her eyes at me teasingly.

I reached for her hand; it felt as soft as a pillow and as light as air. “I don’t want that to happen.” I planted a kiss inside her palm and I leaned into it.

“Tell me what’s bothering you.” she said.

I forced out a smile. “I missed you. Every second my heart breaks. It was once a single continent before you came along.”

She snickered. “The world was meant to break. It wouldn’t be the world if it’s not in pieces.”

She stood on her tiptoes and she kissed me on the lips. “This is your party. You should celebrate.”