Heaven Knows

22: Dominic

Heaven Knows OST:

♫ Without you by My Darkest Days♫

♫ How long will you love me by Ellie Goulding♫

Chapter 22: Dominic

Missing someone is your heart’s way of reminding you that you love them.

Happiness is like a room without a roof while sadness is a room filled with water without an exit. Life’s a bargain. I’m stuck in a barter between who I am, who I want to be and who I should be. It scares me that I don’t have any idea what to do with my life.

There’s Anna. But she wanted me out of her life. It pained me to think she doesn’t want me anymore. She doesn’t want to remember me anymore. It was so easy for her to let me go.

There are a lot of lies in this world that ironically tell the truth. And there are truths that tell lies. I don’t know which one Anna believes. I wish that some people in my life will just cut the bullshit and be totally honest about something just for once.

***

I found myself in front of Anna’s house.

She was sitting at their front porch, drawing—writing whatever she does with her pen. I wanted to run and hug her. I bit my lower lip so hard that it almost bled.

My piece of Heaven in this distorted earth.

It was how I found her. It was how I fell in love with her. Her flaws and infirmity made me love her.

She looked up and her eyes found their way to me. For a moment I saw that flicker of longing in her eyes that wanted me in. But then she drew the curtains down. She stood up and she went straight to the door. I ran as fast as I could to reach her.

I pity myself for being such a great martyr. I deserve to be a saint for this. I’m so pragmatic.

“You can’t avoid me forever, Anna.” I said. I felt the rush of the pain in me like the breaking of the dam. It burst on my vein like storming tidal waves.

She turned to me. She wore that same fake mask of steel in front of me. I pushed the idea of being intimidated. I didn’t want my purpose of being here ran for wasteland.

“I can’t forget about you.”

She huffed. “I sure can.” She waved her hands up in a pissed off way. She looked away like she was trying to not shed some tears in front of me.  “I just got home from my weekly check-up. And you know what the doctor has to say? He said I’d be more forgetful this time.” Her voice cracked at the word “time”. When she turned to me, she blinked twice so that her tears wouldn’t go near her eye lashes. “The tumor took a lot of room inside my head that my memories had to flee.”

I had to let out a scoff. “You forgot how completely brazened I am.” Her eyebrows met in frustration.

“Why are you like that? Why are you so infuriatingly hard headed? I told you to leave already. Don’t you understand English?”

“I love you.” I said and she wilted. “That’s why.”

She pursed her lips and she nodded in a way she was trying to make some sense out of this.

“Three magic words.” She sniffed as she looked down at the floor boards of their front porch. “So little but when said it has a greater impact.” She sighed. She bit the inside of her cheek as she laced her hands. “I remember you, Dom. At least my heart does. I guess it will love you until humans learn how to live without oxygen.”