patience | s.m ✅

Chapter Eleven

Nevada's POV

"I knew it from the beginning, but now I'm actually really hurt."

"Nevada I--"

"Why'd you do it Shawn?" I asked with a grim expression on my face.

He sighed, "I walked into the coffee shop that you worked and I overheard my name being mentioned, while you were talking to your friend about how much you disliked me. I wanted to keep my head down but it's just that as soon as I looked up at you.."

"I didn't hate you as much as I thought I did. I just never got around to give you a chance. What I truly hate is being lied to. I asked you since day one and you denied the fact that you were, well, you."

"I swear I was going to tell you. It's just that it was easier talking to you as Ryan. There was no way that you'd freak out like this, if I was only just Ryan Sleathler." He paused and I kinda got what he meant but I felt so betrayed.

"I never meant to hurt you. Shit, the hardest thing I've ever had to do, was that I had to try my best to get over my feelings and not fall in love with you"

"Shawn--"

"It was fate that I walked into the café overhearing you venting to your friend. It was in my destiny to get that cup with your number on it." He explained and I zoned out staring at his cheek scar, he's truly an Adonis.

"I have millions of fans and critics always try to get me down, but for some reason, your opinion stung and I never expected it to have an affect on me. Nev, I might be coming on too strong but do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Please stop. That's absolute bullshit"

"Why don't you believe me?" He said with tears pooled in his eyes.

"Because I don't trust you, and I'd be disappointed in myself for letting you off the hook so easy"

"Nev-"

"I'm sorry but I have to go."

Shawns POV

Nevada said those words, and then she hung up. I frustratedly ran my fingers through my hair.

"Fuck." I muttered.

"Maybe it's for the best" Brian said with a sympathetic smile on his face.

"I haven't felt this way since Lauren. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my stomach. I knew it was a bad idea to even text her but I couldn't help myself. She's one of a kind."

"Yeah but now she's anything but yours. I'm sorry man, but I think it's best you try to let go"

My phone gave its notification sound and I tapped on the Twitter Dropbox. I sighed reading the tweet from her.

@wellnev: You must think that I'm stupid. You must think that I'm a fool.

Before I knew it, I was typing the lyrics that I knew by heart.

@shawnmendes: I know you're thinking I'm heartless, I know you're thinking I'm cold.

@wellnev: I'm never gonna let you close to me. Even though you mean the most to me.

My eyes watered and I wish it didn't have to go down like this.

@rosesontario: Am I the only one that's confused?

@heartfeltmendes: @rosesontario I can relate.

@flyingshawny: wait what's with the indirects with Sam Smith's lyrics between @shawnmendes and @wellnev?

@andrewgertler: I'm going to have to take you to get your ears checked @shawnmendes. You tend to not listen to me sometimes.

I rolled my eyes at Andrew's tweet and I put my phone away so that I can get some of that Californian sunshine soaked into my skin.

*

I walked around the block thinking about how badly I screwed up, and how I should've just been honest with her.

Nevada has lost her patience with me and the weight of knowing that I betrayed her is a little too much for me. I had to be the one to ruin shit, but then again I have a bad reputation when it comes to relationships, and now I have to hold on to the hope that she'll reach out to me again.

My fingers are crossed and I have a feeling that she's going to understand why it was easier to talk to her as Ryan and not as Shawn.

A million thoughts crossed my mind, maybe I should send her roses, maybe that ought to make her forgive me.

Jesus, why am I like this!

Fuck, why am I feeling like I'm running low on air? I changed her mind about me, but will she let me love her? I knew from the beginning that I'd end up begging her for mercy.

Nevada's a handful but she's definitely worth the trouble. I have to get her trust back and I know just how to do it.

Authors note:

We live for lyrical references just like you guys do lol.
We hope you liked this chapter!

-Anna & Lya✨