Brandon & Callie Foster

Daughters & Mothers

I sit in the waiting room, Bailey plopped on my lap as Maddy sits next to me, distancing herself from me. She is crying, but as I reach from her hand she slowly brings it back to her face, wiping the tears away, as she turns her head away. " Madison." I say softly as she gets up from the seat and begins to walk towards the toy area. She sits down as she picks up blocks and builds them up, before blocking them down. Bailey looks up at me, her eyes brimming with tears.

" Bails, what's the matter?" I ask, although it is obvious she is struggling to make the situation at the hand, better as she always does. She places her hand on my heart, " Maddy. She won't stop crying, Mom." I look up at the playing area to see it empty, Maddy gone. My heart races as I set Bailey down and instruct her to stay put. As I leave the waiting area I ask a receptionist to keep a watchful eye on Bailey, although I know that Bailey wouldn't worry me, unlike Maddy. I run down the halls, calling Maddy's name. As I reach the corner I fall down, as I begin to slowly black out. The last thing I hear is a nurse frantically addressing other nurses to rush me to a hospital. " No," I breath out slowly. " Please, find my daughter." 

" Your daughter?" A young nurse asks.

" Maddy- she's four years old- blonde hair with brown eyes. Please." I ask grabbing onto the nurse's arm gently. 

The nurse whispers something to the others as they wheel me into a room, placing me on a hospital bed as she smiles, " We'll find her."

I wake up to find a nurse holding Madison in her arms, as Maddy is laughing and giggling with an entire stranger. I would be lying to say that it breaks my heart to see my baby be so cold with me, yet she is able to open up to complete strangers. As Maddy sees me open my eyes, she climbs down from the nurse's arms. " Maddy." I say, as tears fall from my eyes. " Momma." She says pouting, as she begins to cry, as she drags a stool from beside the bed and climbs onto my bed, snuggling close to me. " I love you." I wisper kissing her forehead, " I love you, Mommy." She says back snuggling close into my shoulder as I wrap my arms around her. The nurse smiles as she says, " Bailey is in the play area, a woman, Stefanie Foster and her wife, Lena stopped by and wanted to take Bailey and Jack to their home. Would you like to release your children to them?" 

" Yes, thank you." I say as I sign a release form. " Mommy, can I stay with you?" Maddy asks, smiling. 

" Of course." I say kissing her cheek. " You can always stay with me baby."

" When you're feeling better, please come out in the hall, Callie. The doctor would like to update you on Brandon's condition." I look down as I nod, trying to hold back tears.

" It's okay to cry. It's okay not to be okay." The nurse says as she hands Maddy, Bailey's teddybear and begins to walk out as she says to Maddy, " Bailey said she wanted you to have her bear, darling."

Maddy smiles as I nudge her, " What do you do say?" Maddy giggles, " Thank you."

A few moments later I plop Maddy next to me on the bed as I promise to come back as I talk to the doctor. 

The doctor begins to pace in the hall, and he looks up at me, his face drawn and concerned.

" Doctor, will Brandon be okay?" I ask as I place my hands over my mouth, as everything begins to fall apart. As I begin to fall the doctor catches me, placing me on a seat. When I stand up he commands me to, " Please, sit."

" His diagnosis is not great, he suffered internal bleeding, and one of his lungs has collapsed leaving him with his surviving lung working at less than half of the efficiency it should." He twists his mouth, spitting out the words coldly, as if Brandon is nothing more than a name on a sheet of paper.

" He is my husband, we have three small children, they cannot lose a father, I cannot lose my husband-" I begin to cry as a reassuring hand is placed on my shoulder. As I turn around Stef wraps her arms around me as I cry into her shoulder. " Love-" She murmurs softly, " Everything will work out."

Stef sits beside me, holding my hand tightly as she is holding back tears, biting her lip as she asks, " What are our options?"

" Brandon was placed high on the list for lung transpant patients, however, he may not be guarnetted to get a new lung, matching his, for weeks or months, if he is even able to get a new lung."  The doctor begins as I interupt him, " I'd like to give him one of my lungs, is that possible?" The doctor scoffs at my idea.

" Putting a healthy individual at risk with a high risk patient- no it is unlikely that the board would ever accept it. And if you were able to- you must have a lung that matches his- and that is difficult to find. A series of tests must be distrubuted-" The doctor begins as Stef stands up, " Are you telling me, that you cannot research this idea because you are too lazy?"

The doctor shakes his head, " Have a goodday, Mrs. Foster. I'd like to ask you guys to sit tight."

" I will not sit tight, as I watch my son die. Should I go home and tell his brothers and sisters they lost a brother, should I tell his children, they lost their father, should I tell his wife she lost her husband?" Stef says running after the doctor, spinning him around. 

" I'll see what I can do." The doctor says as he grits his teeth. " Good. That's good." Stef says as she begins to shake, as I pull her back down to sit beside me. 

" Baby, you don't have to do this." Stef says as I shake my head, " Yes, yes I do. He's given me everything- I owe him this." 

Stef nods as I lean into her embrace, crying into her shoulder, as the fear of vulnerability slowly slips away.