Chapter 57

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     Why would my father call? Why now? Where is he? Why did he leave us at the first place, anyway? Will he come back? I hope not.

     Questions. So many questions on my mind. None are answered. Only one can do. My father. But I don't have the guts to talk to him and why would I? He's a total stranger to me. I've never seen his face. Never heard his voice and never felt his love. 

     "What did he say?" I asked.

     "He said that he's sorry for everything." 

     "What?! That's it?"

     "He also said that he'll call again tomorrow morning. There's something important that he wants to say." 

     "He left us. And now he's gonna call and say sorry? I grew up without a father. Now he's just gonna pop out of nowhere and apologize? No. That's not the way it should be."

     Full silence. I don't want to talk to him. He never bothered to visit us here. He never called nor sent a letter to us. Do I really need to call him MY father? He never was, anyway. 

     The next day, something inside me is not right. It's like I want to sleep all day. I don't want to talk to my dad. No. Never! He never wanted to see me in my whole life. 

     The whole day, I just stayed inside my room. Played my guitar and piano, put on some melodies in the song I recently wrote, skyped with Regine and ate chips. That's almost all of it. The evening came and he still haven't called us. 

     I don't know why I'm kinda eager to talk to him. Is it because I can finally hear his voice? I wonder what's the important thing he's gonna say.

     We are eating dinner and it was so quiet. None of us three are talking. Then mom's phone broke the silence. It's probably him.

     The phone is on the table near my chair. No, I'm not gonna pick it up.

     "Answer it." mom said.

     I grabbed the phone and handed it to her. "No mom, you answer it." 

     I was shaking and I don't know why. Nervous? Ugh. 

     "Hello?" ..... "Yes, Tiffany are here with me." ..... "So what's the important thing you're gonna tell?" ..... "What?! No! No you're not gonna get them from me." 

     When I heard the last line, my jaw dropped. She's not talking about me and Tiffany. No, it can't be us.

     "Talk to them. If they agree, I do too" mom said. She handed the phone to Tiffany.

     "Hey, Phil." Tiffany said. Yes, she didn't call him dad.

     "No. I'm not going with you." ..... "This is too fast. You leave us and now you're gonna pop out of nowhere and get me?! Are you crazy?" ..... "I'm college now. See? You don't even know how old am I and what year I'm in. What kind of father are you?" ..... "I'm in 3rd year now, taking up Accountancy. I'm not gonna transfer school. I'm staying with my mom. That's final." 

     After all the things I heard, I'm scared to talk to him now.

     Tiffany handed me the phone and she ran upstairs. She's gone mad.

     "Hey..." I whispered on the phone.

     "Oh hi Sophie! How are you?"  he said.

     "Just tell me what you want to say." That was harsh. 

     "So... I'm taking you here in Canada. You can continue your studies here."

     He didn't ask me. He just said that I'm going there with him. No, he's not gonna make decisions for me.

     "You're crazy. I don't even know who you are. Why would I go and stay there with you? You never bothered to call us while I was growing up. You never sent a message. You never visited us here. You were never there for me when I needed a father. What kind of person are you?" I bursted into to tears. 

     He's sobbing a bit. I can hear it. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

     "Yes, I forgive you but the pain is still here within me. Within us. Why did you leave us anyway?"

     "You wanna know the truth?"

     "Yes."

     "I had another girl. But we're over now. And--"

     "You're coming back to us because the she left you?"

     "No. Don't take it that way, sweetie. I'm doing this because it's the right thing."

     "Did you have a child with her?"

     "No. And I'm speaking the truth. Another reason is that I have a better job here."

     "Okay, I believe you."

     "Please go here with me. I'm all alone here. I miss you. Your sister refused because it's hard to transfer in another college and I understand that. After she graduates, I'll bring them here also with us." there was sadness in his voice. I felt bad for him. An old man, living alone. After all the madness in me, love is still overtaking. I still love my dad.

     "I'm gonna think about it. I'll call you when I'm done with my decision."

     "Really? Thank you, Soph. Your daddy misses you so much. Call me, alright? Bye!" I kinda smiled when he said that.

     "Bye. Oh wait--"

     "Yes?"

     "I miss you too, daddy. I miss you so much." the I hung up.

     I never saw him but yes, I do miss him. He's still my dad after all.

     I stood up and hugged my mom from her back who continued eating her dinner. I whispered her, "I love you mom." and then a tear fell from my right eye. 

     "I don't know what to do. Should I come with him?" I asked her.

     "That's your decision, sweetie." she kissed my arm which is wrapped around her shoulders.

     "But I can't live without you, mom." 

     "Oh sweetie, come here." I sat on the chair next to her. "I thought about what your dad said and it will be good for you. Studying there will be better."

     "I still don't know. I will leave you, Tiffany and my friends here? I can't."

     "You'll meet new friends there. And you can still communicate with them via internet right?"

     "I'll think about it. Adjusting will be hard." 

     "Go upstairs and try to sleep now. Everything will be okay. Just follow what you think is right."

     "Okay. Thanks mom!" I ran up to my room and lied down my bed. I dug my face on my pillow and started to cry. This is so hard. 

     I'm angry at my dad. So angry. But when I think about it deeper, I feel the love and it spreads within me. I love him. I love my father. And studying there will be okay. I don't want my dad feeling all alone. He needs me. Yes, he wasn't there but I don't want to let him down. I made up my mind, I'm gonna go there with my dad. Yes, I will.

     The next day, I called and told him my decision. He was so happy. When I heard his laugh, I just smiled. Mom and Tiffany were happy for me. We talked about it and after Tiffany graduates, dad will get them to Canada too. What's in my mind now is that we're gonna be complete soon. We're gonna be a happy family. I know it.

     I ran up to my room. I'm feeling very happy. I know everything will be the way it should be. I went to my study corner to write everything on my diary. Then I saw Greyson's gift. The book. It reminded me about him.

     All this time, I thought Greyson's gonna leave. When the real thing is that I'm the one who's gonna leave him. How am I supposed to tell him all of this? 

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