Akatsuki no Yona x Reader Oneshots (CLOSED)

Peace ||Jeaha x Anxious!Suicidal!Reader|| Angst

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts and self-harm are included. Proceed with caution.

The waves began to rise higher and crash harder into the shore. It was very peaceful with no commotion in the alleys; a very rare occurrence in the town of Awa. (Y/N)'s mind slowly began to block out everything, hearing only her slow heartbeat drumming in her ears.

It's so empty, so pointless to live for, she thought the nth time that day. So much danger, battling for the good of the people, the fighting seemed so endless and in vain. When would it end? Is there even an end at all? There's always something evil waiting next in line.

"Don't you ever get sick of it? Doing it day in and out?" (Y/N) asked as she fiddled with a pebble in her hands, examining its blandness.

"Of what?" questioned Jeaha, who sat on a crate next to her, admiring the beauty of the Cheonsu cliff bathed in gold.

"Fighting, being in constant danger, not knowing what's going to come next. It's like we never have a moment to be able to breathe anymore."

It wasn't hard to tell that (Y/N) had been thinking about this a lot, judging by how desperate her voice sounded when she spoke.

"Well," Jeaha sighed, "it was always our choice to protect Awa. We were never forced to try and play 'hero,' we just wanted to do something with our lives, I guess. I know the other guys wanted to."

(Y/N) gazed at at her family celebrating a victory on their ship. They looked happy, but wounds on their faces and arms were very obvious, even from far away under a darkening sky. She frowned.

She never got those types of injuries. Some friend she was, not going on missions and avoiding fights like she had the right to choose. None of them did. Not a single one was ready to be left behind and not throw themselves at death's door if it meant Awa's peace.

"(Y/N)?"

She threw the pebble into the water in front of her, the force from her shoulder causing it to skip a few times before it sunk. She stood up, the crate squeaking as it scraped against the pavement. "Good talk," was all (Y/N) said as she walked off with haste.

Jeaha stared after her, a crease in his brow and a narrowness to his eyes. He knew something was wrong. She used to be like the rest of the crew, so willing to fight and put all she had on the line if it meant the safety of their home. But nowadays, it was like she was afraid. She should know that her family had her back. They always looked out for one another.

A clap of thunder caused Jeaha to jump, and he turned his head to the storm's general direction. The Cheonsu cliff came into view, and he stared at his as he began to wonder. Whenever (Y/N) stood at the top on her daily strolls alone, she was always so close to the drop... dangerously close.

With that last thought lingering in his head, Jeaha left the dock and jumped back onto the ship to join Captain Gi-Gan and the crew.

(Y/N) tossed and turn that night, sleep never coming to her. Her arms tingled as her heart pounded harder, and she felt skittish, sharply turning her head to whatever creaked and moaned on the gently rocking boat. There could be an ambush happening right now, and everyone was asleep, completely vulnerable.

We're all going to die, she heard a voice whisper.

Her breathing quickened, forcing her to open her mouth to breathe in air faster. The voice whispered again. She looked around the dimly lit room as best she could, seeing if anyone was awake or even sleep-talking. The most obvious thing she could see were the many injuries the pirates had sustained in battle. Looking at her own arms, they were almost completely free of scars. What kind of pirate didn't share scars with her family?