Love In A Battlefield

Chapter 17

     When we pulled up in the diners parking lot, I scanned it for Matt's Harley. The glossy black sheen of the car was noticeable right away. I can feel the smile itch on my face as I looked into the bright diner and saw that he was carefully sipping a drink in a booth that was in the far corner. The fear of him not showing up was gone. I felt whole.

         I heard the exhale leave both of their mouths at the expense of trying. I'll make sure to thank them when it's all said and done. Noah looks at me in the back seat then at Lynn who is still staring out the window and into the diner. Noah turns the ignition to stop the car.

          "This better be worth it, Lynn. You know how I hate this guy." I hit him in the arm, and in not a playful way. "Ouch! Okay look, I'm sorry but I can't help it."

           "Well, just try. Quinn is convinces that he isn't as bad as we think he is." Noah snorts a laugh, but I don't stick around for his answer as I'm already walking away from the car and into the diner.

         The follow behind me but their steps are muffled, the sound of laughter and the 90s music blaring from the Jukebox fills my ears as I scope the diner to find Matt. It doesn't take me long to see him sipping a glass of water in the corner booth. I smile and head over there.

         He gets up to greet me and I can see that a smile is plastered on his mouth too. He gives me a hug and kisses me straight after, it's like there is no one else in this place except us. He parts away, his arms still draped over my hips protectively. I look him to tell him 'it's fine' I'm sure my face says it all.

         I slide into the red leather seats while Lynn is getting menus for us. Noah slides next to the window and I'm suddenly grateful that Matt is on the other side of me, Lynn comes back with the menus and hands them to us individually. She smiles at Matt when she hands him his.

         "So, Matt," Lynn says, breaking the silence that covered us for too long "Where are you planning to go to college?" The question doesn't take him by surprise.

         He looks at her questionably "I'm not sure, I have many to chose from." I know what he means and apparently So does Noah.

        He takes a stab at the next question "Really? You still want to be a Baseball player?" Matt nods and I grab his hand from under the table "God, Why did you come back? You should've stayed at that private school you transferred to when you moved. I know I would've."

        "Yeah, I do. It's a dream and I don't intend to let go of them easily, Johnson. Everything starts at a dream does it not?" The sheer mood of his tone makes me happy, he's trying.

        A waitress come by and takes all of our orders. Noah orders a classic hamburger with extra onions, Lynn orders the macaroni that is always topped with crunchy goodness, I order a chicken noodle soup with a side salad with regular dressing, Matt is last to order. He gets a tomato soup with grilled cheese. His favorite meal.

        As we continue talking everything seems so normal, I had to switch places with Matt because he and Noah has gotten caught up talking about sports and other topics I don't know or choose not to know. Lynn looks at them occasionally in a weird fashion because they getting along more than what any of us thought they would.

        I easily slip into a conversation with Lynn about a school project that was assigned over summer for Pre-Ap. Of course since we are graduating this year it all becomes too easy to make fun of the unlucky souls who are forced to do the project that never changes. Lynn and I have done the project four times through the years because the teacher is old enough to no longer care.

         The waitress brings us our order and we all grow quiet as we eat, nothing in this world has become to easily more to manage in a quick amount of time as this double date has been. I know it would have been too easy with Justin. I frown as I scoop another spoon full of soup into my mouth.

        "You okay, Quinn?" I look up to see Lynn has stopped eating and everyone is looking at me.

         I laugh to ease the tension "Yes! Yes, of course I'm okay. Why?" Right as the look on her face intensifies I can feel the butterflies swarming in my stomach. I hope she doesn't catch my lie.

        "You look...off? I don't know how to explain it, do you feel sick? Have you taken your meds?" I laugh again. Shoot. She caught my lie in the center of it. "Tell me the truth. Now." I can't. I won't. I'll lie again if I have to, but I won't do that when Matt is sitting right next to me, not when Matt is trying.
 
        "No. I haven't, I'm just feeling a bit-as you say off-I'm fine though, seriously." I force another scoop of soup into my twisting stomach "Lynn?" I suddenly feel hot.

          I suddenly feel warmer than I'm supposed to. I suddenly begin to feel bile rising in the pit of my throat. I suddenly feel sick. She grasps my hands to help me stands as I clutch onto anything that I can fine to hold onto.

        "Lynn?" I say again. More forcing than before. More demanding. She and Matt instantly come to my side. "Lynn I think I should go home, right now." She nods and Noah gets the keys to his car, she'll come back to get him later. "Matt? Meets us there," he nods and hurries off to his bike.

        She grabs my waist to help me walk to the car, opening the door for me I slide in with a struggle to the seat. When she walks to the drivers seat I watch as Matt drives off into a speeding blur onto the highway. Lynn-I'm sure-being the same way doesn't hesitate to do the same.

        I don't put the seat belt on, I only bring my knees close to my chest to put my head in between. My breathing methods not working fast enough to settle in. In. And Out. In. And out.

        All I know from sound is that she is driving far from what the speed limit suggests she is supposed to be driving. I don't care. We turn into a driveway which I can only suspect to be mine, my mother rushes out with Logan and Lynn explains the issue with Noah stuck at the diner. My mother quickly says that Matt filed her in.

        They help me out and set me in my bed. The oxygen tank suddenly being attached to me, medicine is shoved down my throat and my mother makes sure that I get in an appointment. I tell her it's the medicine. I tell her that this is how my life is. I tell her things she already knows.

        "Where's Matt?" I say wearily, sleep threatening to take me away.

          She kisses my forehead "I'll go get him," then she walks out gently.

         Her footsteps suddenly replaced with more booming ones, I know Logan can't sleep when I smell the putrid smell of coffee. I almost want to gag. I don't. Matt walks in and slides off his shoes before getting under the covers with me, his incubator body heat radiating to my very cold body.

         We snuggle for a while and I suddenly feel very safe, I look at him and take off the snout of oxygen "Matt?" He gives a 'hm' "You won't leave me will you, love?" This time his piercing eyes meet mine.

          "No," he says strongly "No, Quinn, I won't ever leave you. God, help me if I do." He laughs. I always love that sound. I always will.

           "Good," I say. Snuggling into him deeper "Because you would be the one to receive medical attention," another deep throat chuckle.

          I don't just feel safe with Matt.

          I feel happiness, I feel complete in so many ways, I feel like there is more to us than we will ever suspect but there is always tomorrow and there is always going to be an us. I close my eyes and let sleep overwhelm me. One thought will always be embedded into the pit of my mind...

          I will always, always love Matthew Jenkins with all my heart. Even if I die, I will love him. If I die, I will watch him fall in love again. If I die, I will watch him have a child with the woman he loves and grow old. And when he dies...

          I will wait. I will never stop waiting.

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