Love In A Battlefield

Chapter 14

The tension had become thick, he was stalling by walking to a bench near a flower garden. Butterflies swarmed the plant but quickly descended when Justin walked over. I know that this is more than just a conversation at this point.

       "What is it?" I almost laugh the words to break the pause between us "Justin, you can tell me."

    He sighs and rests his elbows on the top of his thighs "It's-its complicated,"

     "Complicated? Justin, I know complications. Just say it." I tried to encourage him to say it. But the more I did that, the more he shut me down.

     "Alright, then. Quinn, I have to leave in a couple of days. It's my first orders and boot camp is starting up soon." I knew I felt the tears burning in my eyes. I knew that my heart had twisted into one whole knot.

      "What?" I laugh it so it doesn't make the situation worse, but I know how bad it sounds.

     "I know, trust me that was my same reaction when I fount out. But, the school knows so I'm graduating early...Lynn and Noah already know so your the last on my list." I scoff loudly.

      "Oh great! Everyone knows except Quinn! Justin, I can't do this! I-I can't have people leaving and coming back into my life every time the Army feels it is appropriate! I have enough to handle with my brothers." I knew what I was doing, hopefully he does to.

   He reaches for my hand but I jolt it away, I chew my bottom lip. I close my eyes heavily before sighing a deep regret. "It was never my intention to hurt you, you know that better than anyone." He stands down and looks to the side.

    "Okay.." He trails "What is this about, Quinn?" I sat blankly on the bench with my thoughts circling around me like a hurricane. I couldn't focus. I couldn't do it, even though I knew I had to.

     "Justin, I can't do this anymore. I-you are one of my best friends but right now? Dating? It isn't looking good for us." I hope that he would get the message rather than later. I hope that he will eventually forgive me.

     "So, What? Are you-Quinn are you saying that you want to break up?" I saw the hurt that I had caused him in his eyes.

          I close my eyes again, steadily holding myself against the bench I look at him and kissed his cheek "Justin, we just don't click. I'm so sorry, I love you, I mean you are one of my best friends and I can't help but-listen to me, I will never, never  forget you or when we dated. But maybe we are just supposed to be friends. Maybe that was all we ever are meant to be." He sighs heavily and places a hand on his neck.

          "Okay," was all he said before he click his tongue "Okay, Quinn. I just want you to know that I love you. Can you remember that for me?" I nodded. He kissed my forehead one last time and a tear  dropped from my eye. The pain was awful.

          In a blur he was gone. In a blur I was back home with my mom gone at work and I was by myself, my sickly, horrible self. I have a groan at the sight of the time. I needed to eat something I hadn't eaten anything all day.

          I heard my ringer go off on the couch but it was minutes before I had the stomach to actually see who it was. When I raised the phone to see that it was just Lynn, my heart when down a couple notches. It was her reason for texting that made me relive all those horrible memories.

        Hey, so I was wondering if you wanted to go dress shopping on Saturday? Let me know 

         Hey...I don't know. I might as well tell you now but I broke it off with Justin. I don't have time to explain but I will let you know if I change my mind.