Love In A Battlefield

Chapter 13

     By the time we had gotten home, my temper had spiraled into more than just being mad at my mom. It had flared into anger that she was hiding something from me and she was the one who had promised that she would never keep something from me. At least that is what she said. I will never know if she actually meant it or not. 

    "OK, I give up. What in God's green earth is bothering you?" My mother placed her hands swiftly on her hips. This was a move that I always messed up when I had tried to attempt it. 

    "Hm? Oh, nothing is bothering me I guess. I'm perfectly fine except for the whole cancer thing, but other than that..." I shrug and press the green OK button on the remote to press the Ghost Adventures show. 

    She scoffs and moves in front of the TV, at least it was on commercial "Liar, you aren't supposed to lie to your mother. Now, you are abnormally testy this afternoon and I have a reason to want to know why. What is this about?" I scoot to the left when she wouldn't leave. That made her move even more. 

    "You know exactly why I'm testy, I wasn't like this in the morning so what could've happened from then to now, man oh man, I wonder..." I pressed my fingers to my chin and that only made my annoyed mother more annoyed than I would have liked her to be. 

    She crossed her arms tightly, her face more serious than I have ever seen her make before. That wanted me to take back what I had said before "Enough! I am tired of this behavior Quinn! I won't force you to tell me what in the world is wrong with you but when you are ready to apologize for your behavior than I'll be in the study, hopefully, you realize sooner than later." 

     When I didn't say anything she moved away and the guilt eased into me, I felt my frown descend further down my lips and my shoulders slump down in guilt "Wait!" I called, I heard the twist of her heels as she turned to walk back to the couch. 

      "Hmph! Glad I taught something right in the seventeen years you've been alive," She said "Now then, what is the issue here?" She sounded exhausted as she asked the question. I sighed and muted the television. 

       "I am being such a brat because...you made a face at the hospital and I was angry that you didn't even hint as to why you made that face. I was trying to ease it out of you with reverse psychology but it didn't go as planned." She relaxed her shoulders and I felt better suddenly "Are you mad?" 

       I heard the laugh escape her lips before she spoke "Mad? No. Confused? Very much so. Quinn, you need to learn to trust me when I do things. I made that face because they are going to try a new medication, honey even I don't know why I made that face. Maybe it was shock? I can't answer that. For now though, trust me?" She kissed my forehead briskly and turned to walk away. 

      "Mom?" I said, my eyes planted on the screen as the flush of assumptions faded away finally. She turned and rested her hand on the edge of the doorway. 

      "Yes?" 

      "You're working another shift at the diner tomorrow right?" She clicked her tongue and looked at the ceiling, she was trying to remember. 

       "Unfortunately yes. I have to cover for another co-worker who just came down with the flu. Why do you ask?" I turned away from her gaze, looking at the muted television once again. 

       "Just wondering," She closed the door behind her and I turned the volume of the television back on. 

        I would be alone. I was always alone at least five days of the week for a few hours but with Matt back in town I didn't feel up to him coming over and talking to me. I am still trying to adjust to him being back let alone him coming to my house where he used to pick me up to go on dates. I tossed the idea of Matt aside, pulling out my phone I pressed the messages icon and texted Justin's contact that I had. 

         I quickly pressed in the letters to ask if he would like to go to the park with me today around two o'clock, of course I would be back within my restricted curfew but it would be nice to get out of the house and not run into Matthew anywhere near my house, he responded with a yes and I texted back the address of a park that was at least thirty minutes away from here, that was a good distance even though I would have preferred farther. 

         I turned off my ringer and hurried to my bedroom to get dressed for the park, a pair of sweats and a One Direction t-shirt was surely not park material. I rush to my closet, it is hot out today so shorts and a flowy tank top seem most appropriate, flip flops would be good shoes to wear if we are staying on the trails but there is no way I can guess so I go safe and just tie on some Adidas that are laying around in my closet. My phone buzzes that he almost here but I hear the doorbell ring right when he texts that. He lives a few blocks away but not that close. 

       Intrigued, I head for the door and open the door wide to reveal Matthew standing in front of me with bags under his eyes and blood shot eyes to go with it. His pale tone that is usually covered with a nice tan gives me indication that he is rip-roaring drunk in my driveway. I want to close the door and yell at him to go home but even I can't refuse Matt in this condition. 

       "Matt," I breathe his name and I see a tear fall from his eye. I grab his arm and lead him to the kitchen where he just rests himself against the fake counter tops. 

        I grab three Ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet, pour a glass of water in a cup and instantly push fluids on him. Matt chugs down the water and Ibuprofen before sitting down at the dining room table, I can't help but feel pity for him. I want to help and It's true that maybe the feelings that I had for him are still there but the chance of us being together again is next to nothing. Or at least I want to believe that. 

       He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair "I'm so sorry. I didn't know where-where to go, Quinn. I messed up again." I hurry over to him and crouch down to him, his eyes are squinting and I feel horrible for even being a brat to him. I touch his face and I see the want in his eyes but I can also feel the refusal he is fighting. 

        "No," I say sharply "Don't think that, Matt don't you even dare. We have all messed up but you haven't done more than the person standing next to you. You can always come to me but...I have to leave in just a few minutes." He stands up, a wobble threatening to break his balance. 

       I grab his arm, twisting with him he places a firm hand on my waist before placing another hand on my face, I can feel my heart quicken in pace. No. No, please, no. "Beautiful," My breath becomes heavy as he leans down. His lips meet mine and something that I wish wasn't there sparked. Electricity jolted and I easily molded into him. He moved back but I move with him "Quinn?" 

       "Yeah?" I smile, but when I realize what I've done everything shatters. Something is there between me and him, and truthfully? I wanted more. I needed more. 

       He smiles, the drunk him gone but there at the same time "I love you." I wish I didn't hear those words but I did, the fluttering butterflies in my stomach cause me to wish that it was always him. I notice something then. In that moment where he said those words. 

       "I love you way, way more." It was always him. 

-                                                    -

       Matt left and I was at the park with Justin, I didn't tell him about Matt but I was scared that he wouldn't remember what happened between us today. He wouldn't remember the feeling and I would be living proof that we said those three meaningful words that changed my life. Possibly his. Justin was walking beside me when we stopped suddenly. He grabbed my hand and I was pulled in front of him, he rubbed the back of his neck before speaking. 

       "I have something I need to tell you," I put my thumbs in the pocket of my shorts before tilting my head. 

        I listened as one of my best friends told me the truth. He told me what I never wanted to hear again.