Love In A Battlefield

Chapter 15

     I was conflicted. 

     So conflicted that today I wouldn't pay attention to either guy in hopes they would do something to make a statement to me, so since it is Saturday I don't have to worry about bumping into either one of them, unfortunately Justin let us know that he was leaving on Wednesday morning so he would make sure to make time for us before hand. My job was easy enough for me to keep up. It was one step. 

        Make sure that I couldn't go. 

     Sure, that sounds rude and the guilty conscience that made up half my brain was seizing every opportunity just to prove me wrong and if I have to frank...it's winning the battle of either staying or going to meet up and saying goodbye. Justin is still one of my greatest best friends and I couldn't live with myself if something had happened to him and I was a witch with a B to him when he made the gesture for a last formal goodbye. 

     Great. The guilty conscience won the battle. But no! 

       Sure, it is a good thing that I go and see him still but what if that inclines the more reason to feel bad? Bad about literally everything you have ever done to him, bad about the breakup, bad about telling him you didn't click, bad about leading him on. Everything! Justin can send a letter? I can send a letter giving a false explanation that I hoped he wouldn't seek the truth up only to uncover another lie. Yes, he is one of my best friends but best friends still fight, right? 

       Shut up! I told myself. I couldn't think straight when I was battling my self conscience about a matter that would come and go like rain. I wouldn't be able to help the outcome even if I tried. Who am I to get in the way of fate? Who am I to ruin destiny when I have been speaking about so highly beforehand? I couldn't just walk away from the so obvious issue but I could forget about it until I had the energy and time to think about it once again, of course, my mind can't even follow an instruction as easy as that. 

       I tossed myself out of bed with such force I almost landed on the floor. I felt the jolt of cold wood paneling shot up through the sole of my feet, the cold aroma of the house was awful. I hurry to the thermostat to turn on the heat, the cold setting turned down to seventy-one. Who is the right mind has their thermostat at seventy-one? And right on cue I hear heavy footsteps descend from the front door. I squeal with delight and rush to be in his arms. 

       "Logan!" I wrap my hands around his neck, the warmth of his military ACUs feeling more comfortable then the cold air inside our house.  "What are you doing here? You aren't supposed to come home until the end of the month!" Logan was due to come home around May 31. Graduation is only ten days before he was scheduled to come home. 

       He chuckles deeply and kisses the top of my bald head "I know, orders got changed around and when they gave me the chance I took it! Where is mom?" He cranes his head to get a better look but I tap his shoulder and lead him into the kitchen. 

       "She had to cover for a co-worker who came down with the flu." He nods. His eyes flicker to me while swallowing down my morning pills with a glass of tap water sitting next to me. Logan hasn't gotten used to the whole no hair thing, I haven't gotten used to it myself. "Didn't mom teach you that staring is rude?" I laugh to break the tension but I can tell that it is already way to late. 

       "Quinn, I'm not used to it so I'm sorry if you catch me staring or something in that nature. Drew has taken a better understanding to it with all his obsessive researching that he has done over your medications and whatnot." I laugh so hard that water spews from my mouth all over the counter, but I knew what was coming next when I felt the bile rise in my throat. 

       I run to the bathroom just in time to let loose of nothing but yesterdays dinner of grilled cheese. Logan's boots pound against the hard floors as he hurried to come check up on. I close the bathroom door quick enough, my cheeks burning red from the embarrassment of getting sick in front of him. He knocks gently on the door but I don't answer. I flush the toilet one I know I'm in the clear. I turn on the sink water before gently placing my head to the running water. 

      The stagnant taste makes me want to spit out but I know that water is one of the few things that my body will allow me to take into my system. Logan knocks again, this time it is more forceful than the last one. I spring open the door, I'm fast enough to sprint past him in a daze just to ignore his face long enough to get back to the kitchen to act like nothing had happened. 

       "Is that natural?" He asks me. All I can do is nod my head up and down while gulping down another glass of water, he looks next to me and points to the pill bottle "Is it those? Do they make you sick?" Another nod is all the response he will get out of me at this point. 

       Logan eventually gets up from the bar stool to find something healthy to eat in the fridge, all he can find is milk and some veggies with egg. The front door knocks loudly and when he reaches for it I put up my hand to stop him. While he continues to find something to eat I go and answer the front door, hoping that it is Lynn behind the white pain and wooden door. But with my luck? 

       When I answer the door, a smile breaks on my face. A smile also breaks out on his face when he lifts his head to see me standing at the door way. "Hey, gorgeous," A scoff escapes my perfectly chapped lips as I shut the door and push his chest a little backwards so I can talk to him before Logan catches the gist of what is happening. 

       I grab a fistful of his shirt and pull his lips quickly and swiftly to mine. By the reaction he gives me...he remembers plenty from what happened on Friday and I'm only guessing that is why he is here, but I don't care. I mold into him and he instinctively wraps his hands around my waist, my hands meeting the nape of his neck. I feel the butterflied churning happily in my stomach as our lips part and a stranded breath catches in my throat. 

       He rests his hands on my waist and I rest mine on his neck, he takes a breath and kisses my forehead before speaking "I want to take you out, on a real date." I am taken aback but I make sure that I don't show it "What do you say?" 

       "A date?" He nods and I smile but before I can say anything we are interrupted with a glaring Logan staring right at him, the twitch in his nose something that I have caught onto a long time ago "Maybe you should go?" I whisper in his ear. He shakes his head and lets go of my waist to greet my brother. I feel a burning sensation where his hands once were. 

       "Hello, I'm-" 

       "I know who you are. So I hear you want to take my sister on a date?" Logan hasn't had a girlfriend since his sophomore year in high school, luckily he cared more about getting into the military. 

       "Yes, sir," I stare up at him with disbelief as he calls my brother sir. What Logan did...well that I didn't expect to happen. 

       "What time will you have her home?" I look at my older brother to see a smirk teasing the sides of his dimpled mouth. I shut my eyes and click my tongue with irritation. This was one of Logan's tests that he had to pass. Please pass. 

        What was his response? "I'll have you back by 0845 in the evening." This time a frown was plastered on my brothers face. Mine was expressing a different array of emotions. 

       "Good man." Logan eventually left us alone and I quickly kissed him again. 

       I kissed him longer  the second time but by the time it was all said and done I knew that I should have gone inside already, Logan would want specifics. I said a silent goodbye but he called my attention back to him. I stare as he walks off into the distance, the woods around us enclosing us into a perfect forever that I knew would end all too soon when he turned the corner down another street. 

       I watched as he stuffed his hands in his pockets to block out the wind chill. I watched as his strides were lengthy enough to be questioned by someone with short legs. I watched as I saw Matt Jenkins disappear into our perfect piece of high school. I watched as Matt Jenkins winked at me with no hesitation that a giggle could only escape a good couple of seconds. 

       I finally went back into the house with a smile and blushing red cheeks. 

      I ignored Logan's looks. I ignored the world around me as I knew my choice is my perfect one. I knew that Matt Jenkins, my childhood sweetheart, would always and forever be my one and only choice. 

       I chose him.