How To Know If A Boy Likes You

Big Rules of Small Talk

Greet People Appropriately

To kiss or not to kiss? The question is so universal (and, for some, vexing) that Hamlet might have asked it. Generally, a firm handshake is a safe, neutral bet. In social situations where faces are more familiar, the rules soften. "If someone's a good friend, I kiss, and if someone makes that overture to me, I'll respond accordingly," says Barbara Roberts, a board member of the Saint Louis Art Museum who chaired a recent fund-raising gala. Cindy Cawley, an active fund-raiser and volunteer in Omaha, Nebraska, adds, "If you've kissed someone before, remember to do it again, or they may feel shunned. And if you're greeting a husband and wife, peck both, or it will look like you're picking a favorite."

Remember Names

Introductions tend to pass in a blur, with both parties quickly blurting out names and then taking sips of wine. As a result, no one remembers who anyone is. The solution: Slow down and stay present. "I always repeat a name once or twice after I've heard it," says Cathy Filippini, a governing member of the Chicago Symphony and a sustaining fellow at the Art Institute of Chicago. If someone has an unusual name, take time to learn it, advises Fine. "Don't just move on," she says. "Say, 'I'm sorry. Let me try that. Did I get it right?' " Similarly, if someone mumbles, says Fowler, "say, 'Would you kindly repeat your name?' And when you speak your own name, do so clearly."If you forget a name, discreetly ask a third party for help, or listen for it in conversation. If all else fails, come clean. "Don't panic, and don't feel awful," says etiquette guru Peggy Post. "Just say, 'I can't believe it. I've just drawn a blank.' It's such a normal, widespread, human happening that most people will understand."

When in Doubt, Discuss the Setting

It sounds like a cop-out, but it works. "It's something you share," says Carducci. "If you comment on the good music or the interesting floral arrangements or how long a line for food is, and the other person agrees, that means they're willing to talk to you." Another fail-safe, setting-specific question is "How do you know the host?"

Revive a Dying Conversation.

Don't panic when there's a lull in the conversation. "Silences aren't as long as you think they are," says Carducci. "Remember that if you say something, the other person may need to process it. Think of silence as a transition." Roberts adds, "Sometimes silence is appropriate. You don't want to seem like a babbling idiot." If you sense that the other person is dying to get away, give him the opportunity to do so. Otherwise, take the conversation in a new direction using one of the above tactics. "Throw something out there," says Carducci, "and don't worry about making the transition smooth."