unsteady//rye beaumont{OLD VERSION}

epilogue

R Y E

as i walked into the flat, a wash of sadness came over me. this is what it was like for the past two months. the flat wasnt the same happy, carefree zone like all the roadies thought. 

"rye, youre back," blair said, being the first to notice me. 

i nodded, not saying anything. 

blair was the only reason why our band is still together today. if we didnt have him to comfort us, and tell us dani wanted us to stay together, we wouldve all gone back to our houses, and probably never talk again. 

we all sat in silence for what seemed like hours, everybody doing their own thing. 

i hadnt even realized i fell asleep until i wanted to wake up from the dream i was avoiding. 

it always started with me walking home with the boys after a trip to asda. we left dani at home because she was busy editing a video. i wasnt worried about leaving her alone anymore, she had been doing so much better. she didnt hurt herself for three months, and she was honestly better. she was eating more, sleeping more, being more happy. 

i trusted leaving her alone and so did the others. 

once we get into the flat, we are greeted by pepper. she isnt her normal self and memories from last time she acted like this flooded my mind. i instantly ran through the flat and a part of me wished i hadnt. 

there was dani, laying on the floor looking paler then ever. i dropped onto my knees and took her lifeless body into my arms. i knew she wasnt gone yet, she couldnt be. she had an entire life ahead of her. she couldnt die yet. i wont let her. 

the ambulance soon came and took her away. blair went with dani and so did brooklyn while andy drove the rest of us. 

they wouldnt let us see her when we got to the hospital no matter how much we begged. all i wanted to know was that dani was okay and isnt gone. 

"howre you holding up?" mikey asked, sitting beside me. i hadnt said anything since they took her out of my arms. 

"if she dies it all my fault," i said with my head in my hands. 

i felt mikey put a hand on my back, "no it wont be. youre an amazing boyfriend and would always make sure she was okay." 

"what if she said she was okay when she wasnt? then its my fault i couldnt see past that," i told him, tears forming in the rim of my eyes. 

he left me alone after that. 

after what felt like hours of waiting, a doctor came out and walked over to us. 

"youre all here for daniella gibson?" she questioned in a kind, caring voice. 

my head shot up along with my body. i needed to hear her say my girl was okay and she will be able to come home with us. 

"im sorry. we did everything we could do, but unfortunately couldnt save her," she had caring eyes as she said this. 

i stood there in shock as blair talked to the doctor. 

"rye, are you okay?" jack came up to me. 

i shook my head before running off. i didnt know where i was going, but i just needed to get out. i had just lost the one person i truly loved. 

dani was my world, the main reason i wanted to wake up every morning. 

every night i would dream of her, and every morning i would open my eyes to see her beautiful face. and tomorrow, i wont be able to see her. 

no. i refuse to believe that. the doctors are just playing us. theyre saying shes gone when shes not. shes going to wake up, i know she is. shes going to open her eyes and tell us she was just kidding. and im going to be so mad, but then kiss her and tell her never to do that again. 

and thats when i woke to jack shaking me. 

"youre having the dream again, arent you?" he asked with caring eyes. 

i nodded, rubbing my eyes. "i cant even close my eyes for one second without seeing her face."

"i miss her. she was the only one who supported my energy drink addiction and would drink them with me," he sighed. 

"she was the only one who stuck around to actually love and care for me," i stated, sitting up. 

"why did she have to? she knew we all cared for her and she wasnt alone." (because most suicidal people know theyre not alone but still want a way to end the pain and feel thats the only way out. sorry i just had to add that. carry on)

"i dont know, jack," i rubbed my eyes and opened them to see dani in front of me. 

"hey, babe, are you okay?" she asked with the caring green eyes i always loved. 

i was shocked and didnt know what to do. was this real? was i dreaming? 

and then i realized that jack wasnt sitting in front of me, instead sleeping on his bed. and i was also laying down with dani sitting beside me. 

that was all just a dream. dani wasnt dead. she was alive, sitting next to me. 

i sat up quickly, kissed her, just to make sure this was all real and just in case i wasnt able to kiss her again. 

"are you okay? i mean, im not complaining, but are you?" she said with concern. 

"more than okay," i smiled before kissing her again. 

"okay," she laughed, kissing back. 

"i love you so much and never want to lose you. you mean so much to me. i cant think of a day without you, daniella gibson," i told her, fearing i wouldnt have the chance to. 

"i love you, too. i dont want to lose you either. and also never use my full name or i will get rid of all your tea and never let you buy more," she threatened. 

"no, i dont want that. please, its my tea. i need it." 

she laughed before giving me a kiss and getting down to start her day. 

i love her so much and never want that dream to come true. never in a million years.

******

okay, so this is over now. i dunno is that actually how you write an epilogue but oh well. i really dont care. also, i not only have 1 ricky horror fanfic coming soon, but also another one. the other one i dont have a name for yet, but will soon. so yeah. i hope you enjoyed this. i enjoyed writing it. yeah..... im awkward.... have a good life.... bye.