unsteady//rye beaumont{OLD VERSION}

eleven.

D A N I

it was now noon and rye and brooklyn have been here all morning. blair popped in for a few minutes to see how i was doing, but he had to leave.

"dont you guys have a show tonight?" i asked.

brooklyn and rye exchanged glances.

"we postponed our tour," brooklyn said.

"what? this is your dream though. you cant just not go on tour," i told them.

"we are going on tour, just not right now. we have to make sure youre okay," rye explained from his place beside me.

i felt so bad about this. they cancelled their tour because i was selfish and only thought about my feelings. they dont deserve to not live their dream because im 'unhealthy'. i was just ruining everything.

"dont feel bad, babe. were still going on tour, and when we do you can come," rye told me, noticing the sad expression on my face. he pulled me into a comforting hug while kissing me forehead.

"youre our top priority right now," brooklyn said, just as a doctor came in.

she did the usual check ups, seeing how i felt, then she left with a kind smile. last night they told me that i had to be on suicide watch for at least 2 days while im here, while seeing a councillor that comes around the hospital once a day. they also told blair that it would be a good idea to put me into therapy when i get let out, but i begged him to not make me.

councilors have always made me feel worse then i did before. i never liked talking to them. i never trust them. they make me feel more messed up then i already feel.

really, they just do the opposite of help me.

"pepper really misses you," rye said, not letting me out of his arms as if he feared he wouldnt be able to hold me again.

"i really miss her too. shes the best cat of all time," i smiled at the thought of the little ball of cute fluff.

"its cute because she climbs onto our bed and sleeps with me and waits for you,"

"thats so cute. i wonder if its bad to bring a cat here. if not someone should bring her," i said.

"sounds like a plan," brooklyn said.

***
today i was getting let out of the hospital and i was excited to be out of here. brooklyn never left for the four days i was here, rye came everyday even if it was just for an hour, and the others came off and on just to make sure i was okay.

"dani, since you refuse to see a councillor, i wanted you to talk to ginger maybe once or twice a week just so you dont keep everything inside. shes really good with councilling type stuff and you already know her. are you cool with that?" blair asked as he drove brooklyn and i back to the flat.

"im down with that," i lied. i wasnt cool with talking to anyone about anything. i knew ginger, she was cool and all, i just dont like talking to people. i get all awkward and uncomfortable about it. but i agreed just to make them happy.

blair nodded in agreement before he pulled up to the apartment building.

we all walked up the stairs in silence, but that broke when we entered the apartment 64.

"danis home!" andy shouted, running up and giving me a big hug. the others joined in seconds later and left the new trialist standing there awkwardly.

"dani, this is jack. jack, this is the best girl youll ever meet in your life, dani. but shes taken," mikey informed jack.

"by me!" rye cheered, kissing me on the cheek.