THE PLAYERS SERIES : K.M. {book 1}

31

I wake up in her arms, and it feels like paradise.

When I say in her arms, I mean that one of them is around me, bringing me closer in a protective way, while the other is in a position that allows me to rely my head on it, and her fingers to be ran through my hair. 

She is breathing deeply, but I know she's awake : I think either of us is ready to face our reality, which is not very good. We both know this can't be for now, but still, we decided to crack yesterday night.

And I don't regret any of it, because it was the best night I've ever had. 

As she sends shivers down my spine just with the way she makes me feel protected and loved, I close my eyes and say :

"I wish this moment could last forever."

I hear her laugh softly - a pretty sad and nervous laugh. She then softly kisses the top of my head, where her hands also are, before relying her chin on it. 

"Me too" she breathes out. 

That somehow makes me smile.

Even though I don't want to break that superb position, I know I have to : I straighten a little bit, in order to face Lucy. Our faces are pretty close - I mean since what happened actually happened, it's not going to make a difference what we do or don't do in that hotel room - when I put a lock of her hair back behind her ear.

She thoughtfully smiles, caressing my jaw. 

"So... what do we do now ?" I ask, afraid of her answer.

She sighs. 

"First of all, I have to meet with Keira..." she starts. When she sees my face changing immediately to something in between confusion, sadness and anger, she immediately adds : "I can't marry her when I'm in love with someone else."

I nod.

"Makes sense."

"And then..." she continues, shaking her head, before rolling her eyes and sighing. "Honestly ? I don't know, Kristie. Maybe we should go back to our normal lives, and just try to avoid being too close to each other for some time. At least until the season is over, and then..."

"Jill Ellis gave me an ultimatum" I interrupt her, in need of talking about that matter.

She frowns. 

"What do you mean ?"

"She said that the NWSL would be the best choice if I wanted to be part of the World Cup roster next year... So it would mean signing with Portland."

"... And leaving Manchester ?" 

"Yes, unfortunately."

"And what are you going to do ?" 

I look down, entangling my fingers with hers. 

"I don't know... I love Manchester, and I don't know if I'm ready to leave just to take less risks with my career. Plus... It would mean being one continent apart."

"Kristie..."

"I know we're not together, Lucy, if that's what you were about to say" I interrupt her, looking down at our hands. "But you would be a good reason for me to stay."

"You still have some time to figure things out..."

We fall into silence.

I know we're thinking the exact same thing at the moment : our careers are more important to us than anything. Of course we have to hold the fort for Man City - we owe that to the team - and being romantically involved wouldn't be a great idea at this point - and then for our national teams. The whole situation is so complicated and tricky than even I don't know what I want to do.