petal poetry

what am i thinking?

13:06 22/07/2017

how does this work
i think of a word
and i hear it's sound in my brain
isn't that insane?

wait, but whose voice is that
saying what i say back
is it a little me in there
does anyone know her, does anyone care?

is she safe, eating well
what does she eat, she must be thin as hell
does she have anyone to talk to
is she just constantly watching, describing what i do

but sometimes she leaves her role
starts saying things on her own
calling me names
though we're part of one brain

it's hurtful, what she says
am i not treating her okay
did i do something to deserve this
do i believe all these things

she can be uncontrollable
wild, with thoughts unaffordable
killing connections in my mind
oh my, stop! you left sanity behind

the way she stomps, she chases
i can't breathe, it makes my heart race
too fast, please slow down
leave me be, safe and sound

...

but sometimes she does fall asleep
leaving me completely empty
nothing to narrate my doings
what am i doing?

i stay alone the entire day
listening carefully for a word she might say
it's stupid, i fell under her control
i can't get up myself, i've given her my all

the puppeteer tapping
in the rhythm of my breathing
dancing to the music
without my strings i'm useless

13:25 22/07/2017