Teach Me How To Love

It Ain't Me

~ Selena ~

     My heart was racing. As the crowd happily sung along to my final song of the night, I felt my blood warming. This happiness was something unexplainable. As I thanked everyone for coming out, I introduced Demi before running off the stage. Marissa stood off on the side, her screams ringing in the air as Demi ran over towards us. Her music began to play, all of her dancers darting towards the stage, but she stood between her friend and I.

     "Sel, can you hang with Marissa until I come backstage."

     "Uh, no." It wasn't as if I said it because I disliked Marissa, which I did. But Demi would be performing for over an hour, and I was hungry.

     "I'm still worried about Nick."

     "It'll be fine. He hasn't said anything, and I know where to find you." My words hadn't made her feel any better, but I pushed her past the curtain just as Marissa stepped up to me.

     "Your boyfriend is watching you." The woman signaled behind me as I faced where she pointed. Just like earlier, Nick silently stood off to one corner, his eyes on me, but his expression was blank. I pushed past Marissa and quickly hugged Nick. He hadn't reacted, just staring at me as I sighed and made it towards the changing room. My stylists were packing up my things just as I quickly changed into a skirt and a top. Nick let himself in after I was finished, his eyes studying me.

     "What is it?" My voice came out in a whisper as he shook his head.

     "I'm just waiting for you to tell me how the hell did this happen. But you're playing it off like nothing is going on." His statement caught me off guard. It even made my stylists pause for a moment.

     "Tell you what?"

     "Selena, you're still looking me in the face and lying to me."

     "If it's about what Demi said earlier, I don't know how else to put it." I crossed my arms as the air thickened. The space in the room almost suffocated me when his face dropped.

     "So you slept with her?"

     "I'm not going to lie to you, so yes. But..."

     "You're trying to justify it now?!" His voice rose, something I wasn't use to. Usually I'd complain about something and he would just let me vent. It kind of shook me to see him in such a dazed state.

     "It's totally my fault." I admitted. "There were things that happened that I should of told you about, but I didn't. Even Demi wanted me to stay away from her but... I persisted. So if you're going to be mad at anyone, it should be me."

     "Since when were you into her?" He glanced away, studying my stylists as they pretended they weren't listening. "Can you two go?"

     "I need them here. They're working."

     "Then follow me." Nick made his way towards the door, pushing it open and holding it as I nodded. As we trailed the hallway, the music and blaring sound of Demi's voice seemed to have upset him even more. We made it towards one of the backdoors before heading out. Thankfully no fans were around as we took the short route towards the buses. Small specks from the neon glow sticks still sat against the frames of the vehicles. We stopped a few feet from the buses. Nick faced me as I faintly sighed. The darkness engulfed us as the parking lot lights created a yellow glow over everything. He focused on me and said nothing. My heart began to race, knowing that everything was out in the open and now it was time to deal with it.

      "Why are you so quiet?" I mumbled.

     "What do you want me to say?"

     "I don't know." I admitted, gazing at Nick, studying the brown eyes I knew so well. They didn't comfort me however.