HEATED || G.D

29. No feelings

These days at school were killing me. 

My scratches healed a little, same with my heart. Sincerely, I felt nothing for no one, I felt nothing in general. Ellie hanged out at Ethan's like all the time but I didn't wanted to go there.

'Til today. 

Erica:) : Ah, come on... It'll be fun, Gray's not here, I mean he is but he's leaving.. 

Me: See you in 15 .

At school Grayson didn't come for the whole week. AAAAnd I'm not missing him. 

I just got dressed up in some home clothes and got my hair in a bun, trying not to look so messy. 

As I arrived there, I knocked on the door but no one opened it. I was gonna to text Ellie to come to open the door but finally someone opened it. 

I bite my tongue as I see Grayson standing in the front of me. My heart ached a little, but I had to stay strong. "Hey.." He smiles. I didn't say anything, I pushed him away and went to sit down on the couch with Ethan and Ellie. "Hey guys.." I say, looking at Ellie who was giggling. "Hey..". "Uh, Ellie? Can we talk alone please?" I ask Ellie not waiting for her response, just dragging her by her hand in the bathroom.

"You said he's not here. I just can't have him around me anymore." I say with a clearly voice, but it doesn't seem that Ellie understands what I'm talking about. "Stay calm, he should go.." She says leaving a 'pff' after we got back to Ethan. As we watch the TV, hearing Ethan's jokes that got better, I see ms. and mr. Dolan . "Hello sweetie, so good to see you!" ms. Dolan says, hugging me. I faked a smile after mr. Dolan says "Dear, let's leave the kids alone.". 

"Dear, we need some snacks so me and Ethan will go fast to the supermarket.." Ellie says running fast with Ethan hand in hand. I went to the kitchen to drink some water and I had to deal with that creature named Grayson. 

!PLAY THE DAMN SONG! We stayed there silent for like 5 mins, not saying anything. All you could hear was how I drank water. 

I look with my eye corner to see if there is Grayson , but he wasn't there anymore. I turned around, seeing Grayson behind me scaring the shit out of me. "AAAAH!" I scream making him laugh. "Fuck off.." I mumble trying to get away but he stopped me, his hands wrapped around my waist.

"Grayson.." I mumble. "Valerie I-" he says but I cut him off "What, Grayson? You're sorry? Sorry for breaking my heart for the 293rd time? And apologize  like nothing bad happened? Sorry for not letting me to explain?" I say in tears. He didn't say nothing, just stared in my eyes. "But do you ever listen to me?! When you're going late night in the clubs, getting you and changing your clothes and making you sleep after you behave like a kid?! When I had problems but you were busy with tiny things that you think that are more important than me? See? You're not listening right now!" He says, letting me go after. 

"Grayson.. I-" "No, this time I'm not gonna forget you. You're gonna feel like how I felt." Grayson says as I see him crying. "How many times do you sent me messages with how much I love you, like I do- I mean like I've done? All the day I sent you messages saying how much I love you, but you just seen them and sometimes 'me too'. I thought you're cheating, but I never stopped to love you. I went to fuck girls after girls feeling nothing, regret all after. Because of you. I missed you. And I still miss you." he says punching the table, making everything shake. 

"Maybe, that's why I couldn't admit that I love you... Even I didn't show it, I feel it. But you need words, not actions, right?" I say, running upstairs in Cameron's room. 

"Valerie.." Grayson says behind the door. "Grayson..." "We don't deserve each other." Grayson says as I can tell that he tries not to cry. "We don't deserve each other." I reply back. 

"Valerie.." Grayson says crying "Someday someone will love you so much that they'll give you the world. And maybe then, you'll forget all those times you had your heart broken."

"I was so scared to lose you. And now, look where we are now." I say lying down, on the door as he punches the door. 

  All we have done was just crying. I went in the bed and I see the door how it opens, it was Gray coming in. He lays next to me as we both cry. "Valerie.." he nods. I look at him as I see him looking at me but he after stopped looking at me. "Can at least, be friends? I can't stay a day without talking to you.." he says crying, making the pillow wet. "Yeah.." I reply and we stayed quietly in the room, no one saying nothing. 

We heard that Ellie and Ethan came home so we went downstairs. 

"Awh, look who got back.." Ellie says but after her eyes wide opened as she saw how red our eyes were. "We're not back." Grayson says, heading to the kitchen, my heart aching a little after I heard that. "I should go, see you later guys. Have fun together." I say nodding and heading home. 

Home, my mom was sober finally. "Dear, what..-" she says wiping my tears off. "I'm not with Gr-" i stopped as I start to cry even more harder "I'm not with Grayson anymore." I hugged my mom tight and after I went upstairs. 

I checked my phone to see if I have any messages and I had 1 from Grayson.

Grayson: Hope you arrived good home.

Me: yeah.. 

I was talking on facebook with Ellie when she sent me a message that I should look on Gray's instagram profile. 

There was a photo uploaded 3 mins ago with him, me staying in the back laughing. I remember this photo. 

"Your smile fade away from me." The caption was.

•••

Guys I'm so sorry for being this emotional but my mood depends on what music do I listen fr.

So, can there be a friendship between 2 persons who have been in love for a long time? Keep reading to find out.

okay i'm stopping i just said that i'm uploading just 2 chapters a day per week im sorry oops