Broken and Healing. - Jonathan Toews fanfic

Chapter 40

In the car, it was silent except for the radio. Jonathan is humming along to a song I've never heard before, when he suddenly stops.

"Alex?" Jonathan says.

"Hmm?" I ask.

"Do you love me?" He says quietly.

I don't know what to say. I certainly LIKE him. But love? That's the big L word. I really really like Jonathan, but I'm not sure I've known him or been with him long enough to say i love him. I've only ever loved someone in my life. Matt. Ugh. I shake thoughts of Matt out of my head, and turn off the radio.

"Jonathan." I say his name and smile. It sounds so good. "I like you. A lot. It's a process, loving someone. I don't think I've let anyone know about the accident so quickly. I trust you SO much, and when I'm with you, i don't think about anything else but us." I say.

Jonathan nods. "You don't love me." He says.

"I really REALLY like you." I say. I hope he isn't mad, but i cannot lie to him. I care about him too much.

"I like you too." Jonathan says, "I've never felt this way before, i don't know what this feeling is. Is it love?" He asks me.

"You'll have to answer that question yourself," i say , "Don't worry. You'll know its love when you feel it." I assure him. I turn the radio back on, this time Therapy by All Time Low. This is my song. I've listened to it so many times, it really expresses my feelings.

I sing out the chorus.

"Give me Therapy, I'm a walking travesty, you keep all your miseries, Therapy I'm a walking travesty. And I'm smiling at everything."

The music comes on, and i close my eyes. I sing along to the rest of the song, and when the final note comes, i open my eyes. What a beautiful song.

I find Jonathan staring at me. He's smiling and looking at me with those dreamy eyes. I smile back.

"What?" I ask.

"You've got a beautiful voice." He says simply.

I look down and blush. "Thank you." I say. We're staring at each other, then i look forward.

"JONATHAN RED LIGHT!" i scream.

Jonathan stops just in time, and a few cars sound their horns. I jolt back into my seat, relieved.

"Oops." Jonathan says guiltily.

"Jonathan!" I exclaim.

He starts laughing. Can you believe it? He's laughing! Then, something unexpected happens. I start laughing too.

"Next time," i struggle to speak, I'm giggling too hard. "Let me drive!" I say with laughter.

"No way, girl!" Jonathan grins back. He takes his right hand off the steering wheel and takes my hand. Its such a casual movement, it really does seem like we're a real 'thing' now. I look over at him, and he's focused on the road. I lock my fingers through his, never wanting to let go. This is what i want.