Arla

Tears

Arla POV

Everything is odd as if like there's a hidden story to every breath I take.
"I don't believe you "
My words nearly a whisper.
"Yeah I wouldn't have either "
The man before my eyes who claims to be my family agrees. He's not so powerful, probably a lesser wolf but his words are spoken with care ,with a certain wisdom.
"Your grandmother was a true Luna, so her first born should have been a girl" He pause , to let the meaning of his words sink me.
"But Steven was a male, meaning your grandfather cheated your grandmother with someone. "
"And that someone happens to be your sister?"
I raise my eyebrows at him. His story is reasonable, yet I don't think this wolf is to be trusted. It's not the strong wolves that I fear the most it's the smart ones.
"What do you want? I believe you didn't come all the way for a family reunion?"
"Of course not, I'm here to join your pack. I got to know that you have a council of members to advise you "
"Well you heard right but I don't believe that my brother's pack is incapable of feeding you "
"I don't want my talent to be wasted there "
"I surely don't want it here"
His eyes are narrowed, I don't think that he expected my refusal.
"You sure?"
"Absolutely. Alessandra show this wolf outside "
I don't know why but I have a feeling that it is not over with that wolf.

I could tell the difference even before the wolves on boarder duty mind link me. A sudden chill ran through my body , goosebumps on my arms are hidden under my sweater. I look at my reflection on the mirror.
My body is round , but it is obvious that I'm not healthy. I rub the bump on my stomach, now more defined than ever.
I watch from my bedroom window. I waited three and half months for this moment.
His wolf runs on it's full speed, he's as beautiful as ever ,specially in this dull Autumn surrounding. His mouth is carrying a leather bag. Even from the distance I could tell he was eying me. But it doesn't slow him down even a little bit. I rest my head on the window frame, my legs are frozen; I can't move.

He doesn't stop at the door. He only has one goal. Find me
His steps doesn't make a sound still I could feel him right behind me. I don't dare move from my spot, eyes still looking outside . I see some pack members are worried about the wolf, James eyes me worriedly from the garden . I smile at them , my way of telling them that it's alright.
"Should I stop him?"
He asked me when he mind liked me to inform about the Amazon Alpha's visit.
He doesn't understand that he cannot be stopped. And I didn't wanna waste a young life .
I don't turn around even when I hear him shift. My whole body is reacting to him, my cheeks are hot, legs are about to give in. I hate what he can do to me. My emotions are getting the best of me.
Single tear escapes my eye.
He places his hands either side of me , holding the window frame tight. His front is slightly touching my back. On his wrist is the bracelet that I put on long time ago at our bonding ceremony.
This makes me cry harder.
"Please don't cry"
His words are soft his nose barely touching my neck. I wanna pull away but how can I? This is what I have been longing for. I hate him so much for putting me through this but I love him at the same time.
"Please don't cry my Luna"
He says to my ear. Little kiss to my neck, to my right earlobe, to his mark on my neck . I'm a weeping mess. He makes me emotional.
He slowly brings his palm to my stomach. My little girl goes crazy. I think she knows that he's her father, her kicks are fierce. He tense , this is the first time he's feeling her. Our daughter
My nose is blocked but I can't stop my self from crying. I was not prepared for this , for him.
He slowly turns me around to face him. I can't look at him , instead I look at his hand on my stomach. He kneels in front of me kissing my stomach, feeling her kicks. The sensation is too much I can't stand on my own. I press my face on the window, letting the glass soothe me.
My eyes connect with Valor , she's sitting on the grass where we would sit to stargaze at night. Her answering smile is dazzling and pure it calms me a little.
I push him slightly and sit on the bed , I need time to process this.  He slowly walks towards me. He has changed a lot. He has lost some weight, eyes look troubled, his hair has grown longer than his usual length.
Something is wrong
Even with everything his nakedness excites me. Desire pools between my legs without my consent. His reaction is instant, his member is on full stretch.
"Fuck"
He curses under his breath. Then opens his side of the cupboard and grabs a t shirt, short and a boxer and closes the door to the bathroom behind him.
I exhale a breath that I was unaware of holding.
I still remember the day I filled his part of the cupboard with cloths that I thought would look good on him. I wanted to make him feel welcomed . I feel stupid even thinking that he would have chosen me over all the other things that is not me.
I was still not prepared to deal with him when he opens the bathroom door.
The denim is loose on his waist , white t shirt is slightly wet , he has not dried himself properly.
He sits next to me, eyes roaming on my body.
"You're hurting "
I look down , I can't keep up with the intensity of that beautiful brown eyes. My eyes threat to water again.
"What ever my reasons are I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner, I'm sorry you had to go through this alone, I can see you're hurt"
He cups my face , forcing me to look at him.
"I never wanted to hurt you. That's not what I wanted "
My lips tremble, I blink trying to contain the salty water that my eyes are so fond of leaking. A single drop leaves my eyes. He stare at my face for a long time before kissing my tear away.
I'm crying again. He wipes them , his thumbs are gentle and soft .
"Don't cry Arla, Please don't "
He kisses my forehead first then his lips brushes mine. He tastes the same , smells the same. Rain and summer. The kiss is long and passionate. It is to make up for the nights that we were separated.
I'm tired from all the emotions that I'm feeling. Even though I hate to admit , I feel safe, like I'm really home when I'm in his strong arms that I am so fond of.
"Say something please"
He's stroking my head pulling me  up to lay me beside on my bed. My belly is supported by his side. Then only I realized that I didn't utter a single word  since his arrival.
He can't see my tears but I guess he can feel them through his thin t shirt.
"Your tears..,"
He stops gathering my hair, removing my natural curtain from his eagle eyes.
"... are they because of me?"
His voice is edgy. We have always resolved our issues with tooth and claws. Arrogance, blood , fight has always worked fine for us.
He sigh at my silence. I can't collect myself to reply him, to think of an answer that would make sense. For the time being I just wanna enjoy his presence, his warmth, his smell .
"What else is wrong Arla?"

He uses his thumb to pull my chin up. His beard is rough on my chin. Couple of days have passed since the last day he has shaved.
I close my eyes, I'm too tired to think.
"I love the feel of our little one. She's strong "
I can sense the smile in his voice. He loves her. I think a part of me was always worried that he might not accept my female. That his absence was because my pup was a female.
As he holds me to his chest I realize that he loves her, that my pup will not have to go through what I went through since the day I was first conceived in my mother's belly.
My tears are dry, hiccups are slowing down, I naturally melt to the comfort his body can bring.
I can finally close my eyes without keeping a silver knife under my pillow, without being scared,knowing that he will be there and will protect me from anyone or anything that brings harm to us.
I wanna know what's troubling him, why he ignored me ,us ,for so long. There are too many questions to be asked,but now is not the time. Now is the time to forget, to let go of worries, to finally close my eyes to the peace.
Right before sleep takes over I hear him say,
"My mom and sister were killed Arla"
And with that I close my eyes to a much needed sleep in my males' hands.